


um, excuse me? i was dying

by JoeyTheMusician



Series: the camelot [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, But only a little, Crack, Everyone Is Alive, Freeform, Good Morgana (Merlin), Gwen has a sword, Humor, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Maybe fluff, Multi, Oblivious Arthur, Parent Gaius (Merlin), Pining, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), but only kind of good, everyone knows about his magic except arthur, everyone loves Merlin because I say so, gwen is in love with everyone, i need a beta reader y'all please, i've been watching the office, it's supposed to be a light read, why am I doing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25278304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoeyTheMusician/pseuds/JoeyTheMusician
Summary: Gideon is a fourteen year old boy who wants to know the real tea. Camelot has a lot of secrets to offer.1. The prince's manservant has magic and everyone knows (except the prince)2. The prince is in love with his manservant and everyone knows (except the manservant)OR The Office if it was Merthur in Camelot...“Shouldn’t you be doing- do you have a job?” The two turned to him.“I don’t have a job. I’m fourteen. Mum makes good money in the kitchens and I just stay out of trouble.” Sir Gwaine raised an eyebrow.“Oh, you do a good job of that, do you?” He blushed. It wasn’t like he had been arrested yet.“How do you come to the banquets if you’re not a servant yourself?” Merlin was gawking at him as he asked. It was the most emotion he had had on his face for days.“Shouldn’t you be more concerned about yourself? The love of your life is over there getting courted.” Gideon pointed over his shoulder.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: the camelot [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076684
Comments: 106
Kudos: 458





	1. Everyone Is Gay For Merlin, I Do Make The Rules.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this is a feverish lapse of judgment after sitting out too long on a hot day. We love to see it.

"Sir Leon, could you repeat that? I’m trying to write word for word.”

The knight paused with his mouth opened, confused. “You want me to repeat telling you to bugger off?” The small servant boy looked up after finishing his sentence, smiling satisfied. He froze at Leon’s irate expression.

“I’ll, er- I’ll take my leave.” Gideon, barely past 14 winters, had been running around the castle all day. His mother worked in the kitchens, and he was recently anointed with job of washing dishes. It wasn’t really his job, but his mother gave him a few coins for helping her out. This meant Gideon was allowed to enter the castle, and with a few innocent smiles, wander throughout its walls.

That was how he made it into the knights’ quarters, excited to meet them. His first meeting with Sir Leon was not going so well. Sir Leon had a habit of appearing more volatile than he truly was. This made for an advantage on the battlefield, and occasionally, in the chasing off of adolescents.

Sir Leon looks off into the wall, and sighs deeply. The boy was amusing, and had a charm that reminded him of Merlin actually- though maybe that was the insolence. He hadn’t asked for his name.

Gideon, now skipping down the hallway, with the full honest intention of leaving, was stopped by the sight of another man. Sir Gwaine was smirking at the boy.

“I heard you tell Leon you were interested in interviewing the knights?” Gideon skid to a stop, smiling back at the brunet.

“Yes, I had this idea to document the innermost workings of the castle. Maybe I’d even show it to the people in the citadel, and boost morale and patriotism!” Gideon was naïve for his age, all filled up to the brim with that delirious thing called hope. From a young age he enjoyed writing, but it seemed unheard of to write true occurrences in real time. He was determined to get other people invested in the importance of _documentation_.

Sir Gwaine was amused, and like Leon, saw the Merlin-like charm in the boy. Perhaps that was why he was intrigued. He leaned against the door frame of his chambers, wearing a blouse too revealing for a lord to wear, and flipped his hair back.

“Alright then. Uh-”

“My name’s Gideon.” He was named after his grandfather who came from overseas many years ago. He knew it was an uncommon name in Camelot- considered he was likely the only Gideon- and was used to the reactions he got. His skin was a bit darker than most, and that often confirmed questions before they need be asked.

Sir Gwaine didn’t blink at the kid’s foreign name or skin because he wasn’t a racist twat.

“Gideon. You have me intrigued. Tell me- how ambitious are you?” He slowly smirked, lips curling up in a nasty, not-yet-evil way. Gideon’s hand curled around his half-dried quill.

* * *

“Are you writing down everything I say?” The crown prince was trying to lean over the desk to see what the boy was writing. Gideon moved quickly the hide the paper, just a touch, before almost glaring at the prince. He wasn’t sure if it was treasonous to do so, so he hid his angst behind a stressed smile.

“Yes, I am trying to… sire.” Gideon was not yet used to referring to people with proper titles.

Prince Arthur was starting to see why Gwaine liked the boy. Sir Gwaine was at this time leaning, as he did often, against the frame of Arthur’s bed. They were situated in his chambers. It was a miracle he had been so open to this idea, but Gwaine did name drop a certain manservant.

Arthur was intrigued, and perhaps a bit pleased with the idea of this kind of attention. People had to listen to him, but not many people _interviewed_ him. He supposed none would dare suggest they questioned him. Except maybe Merlin, the knights, Gwen, Morgana, Uther, Gaius- this list was longer than he thought. He held his hands clasped together under his chin.

“Well then. Ask away.” He didn’t smile at the boy, but Arthur felt a stir of excitement.

“Do you actually eat three meals worth for breakfast?”

“What-?! Where did you get this- Gwaine!” Sir Gwaine was bent over, laughing at the fluster of the princess. Arthur’s weight was a sore spot. He had also guessed correctly that Gwaine must have whispered some bloody treasonous rumours to Gideon, knowing they would get back to Arthur.

“I’m sorry sire, I did not mean-” Gideon felt a flicker of fear at Arthur’s red-faced anger, but he was staring at Gwaine, paying no mind to him.

“No, it’s alright. You’ve just reminded me I’ve been too lenient in training these days. It must be getting to Gwaine’s stupid head.” Sir Gwaine stilled at the mention of leniency. He was not fond of the hard runs he was made to do to better his heart or his something or other. He thought it unnecessary and horrible.

“So, you do not eat three-”

“No, I do not eat three- I eat the normal amount! I’m not fat!” Gideon looked at Sir Gwaine. He had finally caught on.

“My apologies sire, I didn’t realize it was a sore spot-”

“I’m _fighting fit_! Did Merlin tell you…?!” The princess was spitting his words out to Sir Gwaine, who had regained his composure. Merlin was missing from this discussion because he was out running an errand for Gaius, or saving Camelot from a magical threat, one of the two for sure.

“…Did Merlin tell me that he had to poke another hole into your belt? No, he wouldn’t dare divulge such personal information.” Arthur glared, his fists on the table.

Gideon wrote that down.

* * *

“Lady Morgana!” Gideon tripped over his feet as he entered her chambers. He was not prepared for her beauty. He blushed like an idiot.

Sir Gwaine rolled his eyes as he followed the boy inside. The lady Morgana was already seated at her desk and her handmaiden, Guinevere, was standing behind her.

“Arthur told me that you insulted him, so I have graciously accepted your request for an interview. But I warn you-”,

“-Gideon,”

“-Gideon; if you pull a stunt like that with me, I will be displeased. I believe you would not want to see me displeased.” Morgana moved around like a cat. Calculated, elegant; _supernatural_. Gideon drew little hearts around her name, as he notated her words.

Guinevere resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Morgana’s attempt to intimidate the boy. It appears she did not notice the boy’s googly eyes.

“What do you think of Camelot?” Morgana narrowed her eyes, almost imperceptibly, at the question. Had the boy come here to get her to admit to having magic? That she thought Camelot was a hot load of shit for all Uther Pendragon made of it, and that a lot could change around here? Was this meant to be a confession to a treasonous heart? What kind of game-

Gwen rested her hand on Morgana’s shoulder. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“It’s- it’s a place. My home.” Gideon thought Morgana did a lot of frowning.

“Do you have more questions?” Guinevere asked the boy. He thought she was kind of overstepping her role as a servant, but to be fair, he wasn’t so familiar with what it meant to be a maidservant. Perhaps her closeness to Lady Morgana offered more freedom of will.

“I’m sorry, that was a bit of a dull question. What do you ladies think of the crown prince?” Gideon felt it was more appropriate to address both of them. Gwaine sucked in his lips to stop the smile that came from the immediate reactions of the two women.

Both Morgana and Gwen looked as if they had sucked on a lemon. The smiles that graced their faces were mere decorum. Sir Gwaine let out a breath in an attempt to hide the laugh that threatened to interrupt the moment. Not every lady that walked through Camelot was fond of the prince, nor of being asked such a degrading question. Surely women had more value than just side pieces to men?

“He’s acceptable.” Morgana knew she couldn’t say shit if this was to get out to the public, which she believed to be the intention of the boy. It occurred to her she should say something more- something polite, but she struggled to find the words. Arthur was still, as Merlin eloquently put it, a prat and a half. Hopefully one day, should the kingdom hope for an heir, he would grow out of it.

Gwen nodded along, also coming to the conclusion that they should say nicer words. What could she say about Prince Arthur?

“He has lovely hair.” Morgana caught Gwen’s eye.

“Oh- yes. Such a golden hue. And redeemable shoulders.” The girls nodded to themselves. Gwaine eyes rolled into the back of his head and fell to the floor, where they rolled out the door, to Camelot’s border, and disappeared to never return. Or so it felt.

Gideon awkwardly wrote down the superficial notions of the prince, hoping this wasn’t illegal. Was objectifying men a discussion to be held in the 15th or whatever century? No, it was not.

“He’ll be a good king.” Morgana confirmed. She genuinely believed that at least. Merlin had told her all about the prophecies of him bringing back magic and uniting all of Albion- and of Merlin’s own power. But no one else in the room knew, and so she could not say that Arthur was the Once and Future King.

Gwen and Gwaine both knew of this prophecy and of Merlin’s magic. He told Morgana, Gwen, and Lancelot separately. Well. Lancelot found out on his own, and so did Gwen. He told Morgana because she also had magic. Lancelot then told Leon, assuming Leon had already known. He hadn’t. Leon told Percival, but only because he could not keep his mouth shut under the pressure to hide it from Arthur- and Percival told Gwaine, because Percy was a naïve buffoon who saw the good in Gwaine and thought it would be a good idea to tell him. Gwaine had already deduced himself, but didn’t tell anyone, and so only Percival knew that he knew. At least so he thought. The situation was relatively under control.

Gideon nodded politely, assuming incorrectly that Lady Morgana was saying such a thing out of expectance. He did not know of such prophesies.

“And what of his manservant- Merlin?” Comically, everyone’s eyes lit up. Gwaine stood up straighter, Gwen leaned forward, and Morgana grinned demurely (as she did to not give away the warmth in her chest). Gideon noted the change in spirit.

“Why he’s quite lovely. A bit of a clumsy fool but compassionate- and- and unassumingly beautiful.” Morgana covered her mouth, lips parted in surprise that she had dared say such a thing. Surely now everyone would make fun of her for speaking so highly of the bumbling idiot. Perhaps she was enchanted.

Gwaine smiled, and Gwen nodded wistfully. “He’s also very funny, and… charming.”

“He’s a good man… with pretty eyes.”

“And the way he riles up Arthur is delightful.”

“And he’s always there to help me if I ask-”

Gideon noted that everyone in Camelot may have a crush on Merlin.

* * *

Merlin was a busy man. He didn’t have much time to sit around talking to the boy no matter how many times Gwaine batted his lashes at him. He could already hear Arthur yelling at him for being late.

“Please, please, please Merlin just a moment?” He couldn’t fault the boy for trying so hard.

Gideon was desperate to get a moment alone to talk to the manservant. Everyone had something to say about him. He wanted to know what he had to say.

“Alright- but-” Gideon took that as an invitation to grab Merlin’s wrist and shove him down into the chair he prepared. Merlin sat shoök with his mouth open. He shook his head. Well, he’s agreed to it now.

“Merlin, you seem to be the busiest person in all of Camelot. What is it that you are doing all the time?” Merlin adjusted himself uncomfortably.

“You do know I’m the prince’s manservant, right? I have chores to do.”

“Mmm, you seem too busy for just that.” Gideon wanted the honest truth of Camelot. What actually went on around here. It wouldn’t do to keep secrets.

“You know one day, I may share what I learn here with the world, but I swear to you, on my grave, that I live to honour the truth. I want to know what really goes on in Camelot- even if it means bearing the burden of knowing the worst of secrets. You, Merlin, appear to be the main man around here. Please, don’t waste both of our times.”

Merlin looked at the young boy. He considered the consequences of telling him the truth- that maybe he would let the king know he was harbouring a sorcerer under his nose. It would be Merlin’s word against the boy’s and maybe that confidence was what triggered it, but something started to blossom.

Gideon felt the air change, and he knew he was fina get the real tea.

* * *

**Two weeks later… did they have weeks back then? How the FUCK did they keep track of time?? Because was there a Sunday for church and shit or…? None of my business** …

Gideon faced Prince Arthur. He had that irritated expression that Gideon knew meant Arthur was ready to overshare.

“Last night… Merlin made me eat rat.” Arthur sighed, staring at the table with a lack of the usual fire.

“I never thought he would stoop so low. I feel degraded. Am I even fit to be king anymore? Goodness knows I am _well_ acquainted with my chamber pot now.” Gideon stared at Arthur, unsure of what to say.

Arthur had loads left to say.

“Of course, I made him eat some of the stew as well. But it still… hurts, that he would do something like that. It seems too evil.” Arthur held onto his bottom lip thoughtfully.

Gideon couldn’t believe the prince had dragged him here for this. He had been under the impression the prince was emotionally restrained. Was it really so bad?

“I know I complained about the rat a lot, and maybe that was frustrating for Merlin, but I feel as if my boundaries were disrespected.”

Gideon dutifully notated all the prince had to say, but the cost of the truth was never being able to share. He had sworn an oath to the people of Camelot, that he would not share what he had learned without explicit permission. He held onto a vain hope that one day he could.

Arthur sighed and rolled his head onto his arms. Then after sulking for a moment, he shot up and stared at Gideon. He opened his mouth as if to speak, and then shook his head, his hand going back to play with his mouth.

“I feel… _defiled_.”

“Sire?” Arthur finally noticed Gideon’s corporeal form.

“Yes?”

“I was hoping you would tell me more about what happened when Merlin drank the poison for you?”

“Oh? Which time do you mean?”

It was much like this every day; Gideon would do rounds and speak to whoever he could find. He found some people had more to share than others.

“When you went to go get him that flower?” Arthur straightened up in his chair, a dull look on his face.

“I did what any man would do.”

“You- you disobeyed your father-”

“Yes.”

“-And risked your life for a servant-”

“Anyone would have done the same.” Gideon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Anyone would have done the same because everyone loved Merlin.

Arthur looked disinterested. “It was just a stupid flower. As the prince I should be capable of picking flowers. It was a simple decision.”

“So, you would’ve done that for Gaius?” Arthur balked, face folding in on itself.

“Gaius was never poisoned!”

“So, you wouldn’t have-”

“I don’t know! Why are you asking me this?” For all the strategy Arthur had as Crown Prince, he was an idiot to his own feelings. Gideon was simply curious as to when he would first acknowledge that he also loved Merlin.

“It’s my job.”

* * *

Gaius was one of the hardest to snag.

“I’m an old man, and a busy one.” He always sat with his hands together in his lap.

“What do you want to get off your chest, _old man_?” Gaius raised an eyebrow at that, though didn’t comment because respectfully, he should’ve seen it coming.

“There is not much someone at my age has to tell, boy.” Gideon frowned at Gaius.

“I would think it’s the opposite.” They were seated in the physician’s quarters, sometime late in the evening.

“I am not one for gossip.” Gideon scoffed at that.

“Well, Merlin has lots to say about you. He told you that I’m documenting only the truth, right? I know of his magic.” Gideon had indeed learnt of the prophecies and nuances of powerful sorcerers and future kings and what not. He was most amused at how just about everyone knew- but no one knew that everyone else knew. Certainly not Merlin.

Gaius rolled his eyes. He was aware of Gideon’s role within the castle, and despite holding a lame curiosity towards what complaints people like Leon and Guinevere would have, he wasn’t interested in getting his hands in the water.

Gideon knew Gaius would be a tough one to crack, but as the mountain will eventually crumble to the rain, so shall Gaius open the fuck up.

They all eventually did.

Thus, begins a collection of the innermost workings of Camelot; the absolute true stories and accounts of the Once and Future King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta read by LittleMermaidsBestFriend


	2. Heard You Talking Shit About My Boyfriend

“Arthur’s not himself when he’s hungry.” Merlin stood with his back to the servants’ entrance to the prince’s chambers. 

“I may have also been galivanting on a dragon, completing a dangerous quest to aid Camelot, so he’s pissy because I’ve been gone without my lord’s permission.” He articulated his words as if he had something stuck in his teeth. Gideon sensed sarcasm.

“So, I am not terribly excited to greet him this morning.”

Gideon was, excited that is, considering anytime Merlin and Arthur were in the same room (which was most of the time, lest the two get cranky) amusing things happened.

Merlin opened the door and walked towards the curtains to pull them open. He looked around the room; the place was a jumbled mess. Gideon noted that Prince Arthur slept shirtless.

Prince Arthur glared at Merlin, who stared back at him, unafraid.

“What happened?!” Despite Merlin’s position as a subordinate, he never let Arthur get away without imposing some responsibility. Surely a prince could keep his own chambers tidy. But Merlin did not have the insight to gander that Arthur threw a fit because his favorite person was gone and he had no one to throw objects at.

“What happened? I’ve had to make do without a servant, that’s what happened!” Arthur’s hair was not yet arranged, and was noticeably mused from a night of sleep. Merlin thought that this was his favorite look, angry in bed. No further questions, please.

Gideon tried to pressure Merlin into admitting just how gay that comment was, but Merlin stood up, realizing he had a super urgent task to do that he forgot about and only remembered just that moment, that could not wait for a second more. Gideon thoughtfully considered what injuries could arise from rolling one’s eyes too much.

“I wasn’t gone for that long.” It went over Merlin’s head entirely that Arthur hated every moment without him, for Merlin was under the impression Arthur also hated every moment with him.

“Without my permission!” Gideon snickered at the foreshadowing; Merlin knew exactly how the prince thought. Well, when it came to banter and noble matters at least. Arthur and Merlin both shared a single brain cell when it came to matters of the heart, and it seemed they had let Morgana borrow it for the time being.

“What if I was dying?” Merlin had in fact almost died. Arthur did not know this, but his chest seized, which he had to hide under superficial anger, lest he admit that he missed and worried about the skinny prick.

“I wouldn’t be complaining! But you’re not. So, where have you been?” Merlin looked to Gideon, staring lamely as if to communicate _do you see this_. Later on, Merlin would confirm that he desperately wanted to call bullshit on that one, but doing so would overstep into unknown territory, where this mixed language of fighting and flirting would simply become flirting- and that wasn’t appropriate.

Gideon nodded along to Merlin’s squabbles, glancing at the paper that held the bets for when Merlin and Arthur would first publicly court. God forbid the flirting became real flirting- Gideon didn’t know how it could be worse.

_ Um, excuse me? _ “I was dying.” Arthur seemed unbothered to be so naked in front of his manservant. Yes, it was expected to be unclothed at times, but no one made any move to clothe him.

“I don’t have time for this. The future of the kingdom rests on my shoulders. Do you have any idea what that feels like?”

“Well…”, Merlin and Gideon shared a look. Merlin would later complain about Arthur’s ignorance, and Gideon would point out that he could tell Arthur, and then Merlin would scowl and suggest that such matters could not be comprehended by a boy of his age.

Arthur looked to Gideon for just a moment, but otherwise entirely ignored him. It seemed his presence induced Arthur’s ability to put on a shirt, for he reached onto the floor (where tunics should not be stored- seriously, he’s to one day run the kingdom?!) and clenched it in his fist.

“Merlin, I should have you thrown in the dungeons. So, what do you have to say for yourself?”

Merlin had been arranging small things that had been strewn onto the floor, but he glanced at Gideon and smiled knowingly.

“You’ve not had your breakfast this morning, have you?” Arthur visibly recoiled from that comment, and proceeded to angrily launch up from his position on the bed to attempt to put on his own shirt.

“I’ll have you for breakfast!” Gideon often inquired of the others if Prince Arthur spoke so… so questionably with anyone else. Sir Gwaine winked at him and told him it was reserved for Merlin.

Sir Leon placed a few more coins in the pot after hearing about this exchange.

Arthur threw something at Merlin, and missed. He was unsuccessful in dressing himself, and had thrown the tunic back onto the floor. Merlin was used to Arthur’s violent, immature tendencies. One wouldn’t dare complain of abuse from the Crown Prince, as if such notions of abuse even existed at the time. Arthur definitely had his shortcomings as a traumatized, insecure child of abuse and neglect himself.

“Oh, no wonder this place is such a mess!” Arthur threw another object at Merlin. Gideon had to duck.

“Oh, yes I can see you’ve got all the makings of a great king,” Merlin spoke more in sarcasm than he did sincerely. Arthur would never let Merlin know, but these occasional comments of his capacity as a regent hit him hard in that dark spot. If Merlin ever knew of this dark spot, he would obliterate it with his faith in Arthur. Neither simply had the hindsight to discuss it.

Arthur threw a sock at Merlin, but he was already on his way out of the room. Gideon followed.

* * *

“Oh, he’s a drama queen.” Gaius sat across from him; his hands wrapped around a cup of tea. Gideon noted he must have lost all sensation in his hands because the tea was steaming hot.

“Every day there’s a new issue. Some new magical threat. Arthur this, Arthur that. He does know that I can hear him when he gets up in the middle of the night?” Gideon was pleasantly surprised when Gaius invited him for tea this afternoon. He did not realize it was to discuss his difficult teenage son.

“I don’t know if it’s his hormones or his magic but he gets moodier every season! He lives in his fantasy world where everything revolves around Prince Arthur. Certainly, as servants to the crown, we must adore and respect the young prince, but Merlin has an addiction. Working for him, doting on him hour to hour isn’t enough- no, he must use his free time to discuss the prince as well!”

Gaius had not previously had someone to discuss anything with. He had been bottling up his frustrations, and was euphoric at the chance to discuss Merlin’s antics. The moody warlock was every bit as dull as Arthur, only Gaius had mentally adopted him, and could not adequately describe what it was like to babysit such a boy; one part heart and two parts fool. Gaius would not admit this to anyone, but the same spirit that drove him mad currently, was also what made him immediately sign for custody of child. He could never relent his love.

Gideon pulled out the betting pool paper. “Have you some coin you’d like to gamble, Gaius?” At this time, it was not yet illegal for 14-year-old boys to hold gambling rings.

Gaius arched an eyebrow, intrigued. “A gamble?”

“Yes, there’s a bet on when Prince Arthur and Merlin will publicly court.” Gideon slid the paper across the table, noting the curve of Gaius’ mouth. He had him hooked.

“Oh, I see. Are we to suggest Merlin and Prince Arthur are already court- Morgana is even in on this! …No-!” Gaius looked up, eyes lit up and mouth opened.

“What’s so scandalous?” Gideon already knew. Gaius pointed to a name on the parchment.

“You don’t mean to tell me the king has subjected himself to such a game.” His incredulous expression was rounded with mirth.

“King Uther? Yes, he’s placed coin on the two courting publicly, but behind his back.” Gaius took back the parchment.

“Yes, but when did he realize the two were so close?” Gideon sipped his tea, pretending his tongue did not just lose all sensation at the scalding leaf water. He couldn’t understand why Gaius religiously drank such a thing.

“It was after one of the enchanted knights or other? I’m not sure, but King Uther approached me claiming that Merlin had admitted he had a bond with the prince, and that Sir Percival had let slip that there was coin involved.” Gaius thoughtfully sipped his own tea, gazing off into the distance.

The two idiots had to eventually recognize that their _bond_ was not brotherly in nature, but Gaius had no faith that the two would ever publicly court. As king, Arthur would either give up entirely (in an iconic ‘fuck it’ play) and come out with Merlin as his consort, or never admit to his own feelings and sulk like an emo child trapped in an unhappy marriage- whilst secretly courting Merlin. Gaius simply didn’t think anything else could happen. Well, unless one of them died.

“Wet that quill boy, I have a few coins of my own that could use some action.”

* * *

The knights were hard to catch by themselves, they often stuck together like a herd of animals or a cult. Perhaps they had separation anxiety.

“Sir Elyan! What do you think of Merlin?” Sir Elyan stopped his fast walking. He was attempting to casually escape the boy, but this question piqued his interest.

“Merlin? The impossibly bad servant?” Elyan struggled to keep his stoic demeanour. The truth was, the boy was irritating, but he was also irritatingly adorable. Plus, his sister loved him. And so did his boss.

“The one and only. Do you have any comments on the recent bandit attack? Merlin always gets in the way, doesn’t he?” Gideon enjoyed poking at the knights when it came to Merlin’s involvement in protecting the prince. Sir Elyan was the only one not to admit to knowing of Merlin’s magic, to the point where Gideon wondered if he actually didn’t know.

“Well, he’s always helpful to some extent.” He did not know of Merlin’s magic because no one had thought to tell him, assuming he would be a tattle tale bitch about it. Those are Gwaine’s words. Elyan knew that everyone else in the castle blabbed everything to the boy, but he wouldn’t dare share so much. He was afraid it would come back to bite him somehow. It wouldn’t do for Prince Arthur and Guinevere to find out that Elyan also had a begrudging fondness for the boy.

“Really? With no weapon? He just flails around while you lot protect him.” Gideon did not believe this; he did know better. He was just trying to push Elyan into admitting something or other and he had learned through experience that pressure provided a slippery slope into confessions.

“Look, if I were to say anything bad about Merlin, Arthur would beat me silly, Gwen would be disappointed in me, and I don’t know what would be worse. How about we drop the subject?” Gideon noted that Elyan was nothing like his sister.

* * *

“Sire, what do you think of Merlin’s presence at all the bandit attacks?” Arthur chewed inelegantly on some dried meat.

“I don’t understand, are you trying to suggest Merlin is the cause of the bandit attacks? You do realize he’s a useless nobody and that the bandits are there for me.” He spoke with a mouth full of food. Gideon felt as if he had let the prince get too familiar with him; either that or Merlin was right and Arthur was a prat.

Sir Gwaine was sitting backwards on a chair, facing them both. He snuck out an arm and sniped a piece of jerky. Arthur slapped his hand away, glaring at the knight. Gideon noted Arthur was possessive of his food.

“No, I meant to suggest that you keep bringing him along but he gets in the way. Do you mean to purposefully put him in danger?” Arthur gawked at Gideon, jerky in hand.

“I would never put Merlin in danger! He’s just the idiot that feels the need to be at my side.” Sir Gwaine stole a piece of jerky during Arthur’s outburst. Gwaine didn’t know what Gideon was trying to pull but he was glad to be here to witness it. Surely, Arthur would make a fool of himself, for there was no way he had caught onto Merlin’s magic. The whole castle would know when that happened, for Arthur was sure to sulk like a cheated maiden.

Gwaine also considered that Merlin wasn’t the only idiot that felt the need to be at his side. He was convinced it was mutual.

“You do understand that you aren’t supposed to drag Merlin along every time, and that you are risking his life when you leave him weaponless?” Arthur noticed Gwaine had succeeded in nabbing a piece of jerky. An annoying voice in his head told him it would be good for his figure to stop snacking.

“Look, Merlin is a hopless toad of a servant. He is entirely incompetent and has no regard for the mannerisms of refined people, but he is not weaponless. I’m right there, with this big shiny sword. Don’t know how you could miss it.” Arthur purposefully brushed over Gideon’s comment of Merlin’s necessity. Of course Merlin always had to come along. Why would Arthur go anywhere without him? Ridiculous. He was the crown prince! He didn’t have to explain himself to anyone.

No, indeed he did not, because both Sir Gwaine and Gideon knew why Merlin always came along, and always had to come along. They had both put coin in the pot, you see.

“Some of the other knights mention that he’s an impossibly bad servant.” Gwaine and Arthur jumped, and immediately rushed to defense. Arthur used his hand to stop Gwaine.

“Who said that? No one’s allowed to say that!” Gideon didn’t flinch at Arthur’s outburst; he was getting used to it.

“You just said that, sire.” Arthur stayed silent for a moment. Gwaine watched him carefully. Slowly Arthur sunk back into his chair. His brain needed a break after that one.

“Merlin has some redeemable qualities. I merely think it’s inappropriate that anyone comment on _my_ manservant. Don’t know why anyone would even bother.”

Gwaine and Gideon shared a look. Yep, don’t know why anyone would bother.

* * *

“Percy’s arms rival the size of Arthur’s ego.” Gwaine sat backwards in his chair, as he often did. The two were in Sir Percival’s quarters. The larger knight was currently away, and Gideon did not concern himself with such trivial notions as to how Sir Gwaine had access to his room. “And I say that with the utmost respect of both.”

“Alright.” Gideon sat uncomfortably on the floor, parchment on the floor. “…Is that all?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to get that off my chest.”

* * *

“Sir Leon, any comments on the relationship between the prince and his manservant?” The knight was seated in the armoury where Gideon had managed to corner him. For some reason he thought the man hated him.

Leon adored the young boy, but was under the same impression as Elyan- that if he said a little some too much, he’d regret it. He was, as the cool kids once foretold, a bro. He was almost certain the prince and his manservant were fucking, but he wasn’t about to say that.

His lips thinned as he pressed them together, eyebrows rising. He opened his mouth for a moment, but quickly closed it.

“None at all.” He smiled politely.

* * *

“What happened with the bandits yesterday?” Merlin and Lancelot were sitting on a log beside Gideon. The campfire made the air a little smoky, and he wasn’t particularly fond of the smell. His quill dried up too quickly so close to the heat.

“Took care of ‘em. As always.” Lancelot slung an arm around Merlin, smiling ear to ear. The Spaniard had a bit too much to drink and was less reserved with his affections.

“Merlin here to the rescue!” Merlin laughed at Lancelot’s unabashed humour. The lot of them knew of Merlin’s magic, and so there was no reason to pretend that the bandits were anything but a bit of a distraction in their day to day life, for they were no threat with Merlin around.

Merlin took Gideon’s hand. The boy stiffened, as this was not in Merlin’s nature, and he did not recall the pale broomstick drink a lick of anything but water.

Merlin had definitely drank a bit of whatever Lancelot was having, but he thought it was in good fun.

“I saved their asses. Don’t know how Arthur still doesn’t know I have magic at this point.” Merlin recalled the scene.

There were only 10 or so bandits, for no one took the time to count, but if they rounded up to twenty to make the story meatier, surely no one would blame them for the inaccuracy. The men attacked in the midst of a hunting trip, decidedly while Prince Arthur was squabbling with Merlin about how he was such a pansy for not desiring the murder of cute woodland creatures.

It was only Elyan, Lancelot, Arthur and Merlin that had come along, as so to an outsider it would be feasible that they stood no chance against 30 bandits- oh, did I say 10 earlier? You must have misheard me.

Elyan and Lancelot together managed to fight off four of them at the same time. Not too difficult for the dream team. The threat of Guinevere’s disappointment lingered over their necks.

“Merlin!” Lancelot pushed Merlin, almost taking him off the log. “Gwen’s in love with you and we both know it.”

“Nah, pretty certain it’s you she’s in love with.” Gideon did not comment, for he was not certain either of them were wrong. Guinevere was the type to spread her affections far and wide, for her devotion had no limit and neither did her honour. It was truly a shame that they lived in a time of monogamy equating to sincerity.

“So anyway, Elyan and Lancelot have got their hands full...”

Arthur had unsolved daddy issues and so he had no problem taking on a few bandits on his own. There just always happened to be a bandit that bothered with Merlin, and he’d always find himself in the way of a few misplaced branches.

If Arthur got the last hit in, then of course he must have saved the day and got to spend another horse ride bragging to Merlin about how he’d saved his sorry ass.

* * *

“Lancelot, how do you feel about Merlin?” The knight was sober now, and Gideon could not be certain he remembered much from last night. His hair was a bit ruffled and he was standing stiffly somewhere in a nook of some hallway in the castle, leaning against the stone, facing Gideon.

“Merlin?” Lancelot blinked lamely at the sunlight. He looked down at the floor trying to rid himself of the taste in his mouth.

“He’s… I mean he’s incredible. One of the most noble men I know, if not the most. And he’s a bit,” Lancelot took a pause. He looked down to his feet as a smile rose onto his face.

“He’s- he’s got his own charms.” Gideon was not surprised in the slightest as the list of people who adored Merlin grew. Merlin’s life depended on the length of that list, for Gideon did not think he could have survived Camelot if people hadn’t found his snarkiness charming.

“And what about Guinevere?” Lancelot looked up in surprise.

He scratched the back of his head. His face exploded in a blush barely visible under the color of his skin. “She’s nice...probably the most beautiful woman in all of Camelot. Definitely the kindest.”

Lancelot did not realize he had been so obvious with his feelings. He lived in fear that they would get out one day, and Elyan would hunt him down with a mace. He was also incorrectly convinced that Gwen did not reciprocate those feelings.

Guinevere, as previously mentioned, had a strong enough heart that it reached many people. Who was she truly in love with? Well, she couldn’t quite pick just one person, but she could give you a list of the possibilities. Gideon was unsurprised (as he could understand) that Morgana was on that list, but he did raise his eyebrows at Leon.

“Leon?!”

“We were childhood friends.”

Lancelot of course was on this list. Probably in capital letters.

* * *

Merlin passed Gideon a tankard of water. The three of them had snuck down to the tavern. Gwaine was the third among them. I doubt there was any consideration on the identity of the third party after confirming that three men had gone down to the tavern and one of them was Merlin. It would be strange if Gwaine had not come along.

One could not be certain of the drinking laws in Camelot at that time, but Merlin refused to give the young boy ale. Merlin did not realize that that was how the other knights saw him.

“To the once and future prat!” Merlin raised his tankard. The two followed suit.

“Cheers to the once and future prat!”

Said prat was back at the castle, gloomily looking out a window, wondering when Merlin would come home. He did indeed hate every moment without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta read by LittleMermaidsBestFriend


	3. Pure Of Heart, Dumb Of Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck man this is short but IDGAF my laptop charger broke ten minutes after I posted the last chapter so I haven't had the time to write. i feel like the vibe with this one is a bit mushier, but it's a necessary evil

“Sir Percival, what do you make of the relationship between Prince Arthur and his manservant?” The big loaf was uncomfortably seated at a table far too small for him, somewhere at a tavern in the midst of Camelot. Gideon had discovered that the knight was paid a pretty coin for guarding the place of creeps. It was a few hours of sunlight away from the start of Sir Percival’s shift when the young boy caught up to him.

“They’re quite close. Dependant on one another.” Percy didn’t see Gideon as a snitch, and figured someone should actually tell the boy that Arthur’s insults were actually his way of flirting.

Gideon already knew this, in fact had documented their dependence on one another so well he found it funny. He was really interested in the character of the knight, seeing him as the biggest and baddest of the bunch. He did not realize that Sir Percival’s exterior visage was simply due to the influence of his closest friends and his objectified persona.

Sir Percival had the soul of a build-a-bear. Long ago, in another story, he had indeed seen some shit. Now, he had the maturity to deal with it. He saw no resolution to his or anyone else’s problems without an exhausting amount of love and patience. He was perhaps the exact opposite of Sir Elyan.

“…But what nature would you say the feelings of the two are?”

“Oh, definitely romantic on Arthur’s part.” There was no question for Percy, who had seen time and time again the googly eyes and the protectiveness of the prince. Every time there was some confrontation, Arthur _had_ to grab Merlin and shove him behind. It was certainly a good excuse to touch the boy.

Percival could understand that. Merlin was… cute. In the kind of way that sneaks up on you.

“But what of Merlin?” Gideon didn’t bother asking why the knight was sure of the prince’s sentiments, he had his own reasons. He was curious if the feelings the prince obviously had were reciprocated.

Unlike Prince Arthur, Merlin kept his heart revealing sacrifices and googly eyes on the down-low.

“Well. I would say the prince is his closest friend. I could not tell you if he wanted to share a bed with him.” There were a few people in the castle that could.

Gaius, for example. Leon wouldn’t, unless someone had a knife at his throat.

“I see.”

……..

Sir Gwaine and Sir Lancelot were having lunch in the gardens, seated at a gazebo Gideon did not previously know existed. He didn’t comment, but he was a bit taken aback that the two had tea parties.

“It’s the only place to get away from everyone. I think the last time Arthur was in the gardens was when he had to take a shortcut to the pot.” Sir Gwaine had fit two finger sandwiches in his mouth, in the resemblance of threatening teeth. The only thing he threatened at the moment was his waistline.

Gideon took a look around, and beyond the maintenance of the flowers, it appeared as if no one had visited for a long time. Traditionally, the gardens belong to the queen. God forbid a woman not have flowers in her name, lest her femininity fade away.

Camelot had not had a queen in some time, Gideon knew. He suspected she had died in childbirth. Hers was a story no one had told him yet.

“Do you think that the prince’s feelings for Merlin will continue after his eventual magic reveal?” Gwaine spit out the two sandwiches, pelting both the knight and scribe in soft chunks of food. Lancelot’s face drained of color. It had slipped past the boy that the two knights did not know that the other knew.

Gwaine and Lancelot stared at each other, accusingly. The buffoons did not have the insight to consider that they had committed the same crime.

“Oh. Uh. You both know Merlin has magic and love him to death. Now, can we get back to the question?” The two knights would have to swallow their feelings for the time being. It was Gwaine who spoke first.

“No way would Arthur give up on Merlin because of his magic. He’s going to be upset though. Oh, man. I don’t know what I want more: to see the look Princess’ face, or be two days ride away somewhere safe from his melodramatic breakdown.” Lancelot nodded.

Gwaine knew Arthur didn’t share the same hatred for magic that his father held; it was the reason he was a knight. Merlin was convinced that Arthur would one day legalize magic and unite all of Albion. Gwaine would do anything to keep that hope for Merlin.

Gwaine did not tell the manservant that if the king’s consort turned out to be, say, a warlock, well that would be good incentive for the legalization of magic. It was merely a fact that didn’t have to be stated.

“Are you not worried at all that King Uther will discover Merlin’s magic? Will execute him?” The two knights were unfazed.

“Merlin? No way. Uther might try but if it comes down to it, say Merlin’s on the pyre and the straw is burning; Arthur’ll grab a few sticks and join him. Hard to see the king following through with that. I mean, either he calls it off or we kill him,” Gwaine smiled.

“Whatever way, Merlin would be fine.” Gideon hesitated to write that down. Perhaps there were some things that should not be recorded. The true limits of men, for one.

“You would kill your king? Commit that kind of treason?” Lancelot’s eyes drifted down. He could not be so bold as to admit that, even if he agreed.

What Gideon did not understand was the loyalty of the knights of the round table. The lot were loyal to Arthur, which to most meant they were loyal to Merlin first. It did not matter whether Arthur lead to Merlin, or Merlin to Arthur. There was no one without the other. The men knew that would never change.

“ _Arthur’s_ my king.”

……..

“The older Arthur gets the more supercilious and cranky he gets. Morgana says he actually used to be worse before he met me. I can’t comprehend how someone could be worse.” Merlin was recounting the discussion he had with the prince this morning.

“Merlin?! Where is my other boot?” One could not guess what possessed the prince to attempt to put on his boots, but surely it was not Merlin’s comment the day previous of Arthur’s ability being directly linked to his manhood. A servant over the age of twelve would never utter such words to anyone, in any capacity, much less to a prince.

“Have you tried bending over, sire? Perhaps it is still in your ass.” Unless that servant was Merlin, who lived to torment the prince at every waking moment.

Arthur struggled to find his words, for he did not have the same vocabulary as the lanky servant boy.

“If you’ve the energy for such jabs, perhaps I should give you a reason to bend over.”

Gideon thought he was too young to be involved with this.

“Oh, no! You misunderstand. Arthur said that to… to suggest I should shine his boots or something not- not like that.” Gideon stop writing to look at the man.

The two were just outside the kitchens. Gideon had stopped Merlin on his way to retrieve Prince Arthur’s lunch. Merlin’s hair was in an oddly adorable disarray (as Arthur had described once, at the end of a long day when Gideon caught him staring out his window) and his face was flushed.

“Are you sure he didn’t mean it like that?” Merlin looked to the tray of food, cooling beside him.

“I should get Arthur his food-,”

“No! No, please! What happened next?”

Merlin threw the boot that Arthur couldn’t see at him. The prince, for all his athleticism, missed and was hit in the side. “Merlin-!”

Arthur had a way of pronouncing his name with such irritation. It was almost melodic.

“Found your boot, sire.” Arthur held the boot in his hands. He looked at Merlin like he usually did, as if he had never seen a bigger idiot. The feeling was quite mutual.

“Merlin, you can’t throw things at me. I’m the crown prince!” Time and time again, Arthur liked to remind Merlin of this. It was not as if he could forget.

Merlin was waiting for it to get through his thick skull that to him, he was just Arthur. Arthur, who was a dollophead.

“What is a dollophead?” or _dollop-head?_ Gideon did not know how to spell it.

“In two words?”

“Yeah.”

“Prince Arthur.” Merlin had to kneel to help the prince with his boots. He was used to this game.

“Such an able knight, and ya still can’t do your own boots.” He stood up when he finished. Arthur scoffed and stood up, facing him but a foot away. He placed his hands on his hips.

“I slayed the great dragon; I don’t think I need to prove to a peasant like you how able I am.”

“Arthur _did not_ slay the great dragon.” Gideon watched as Merlin stole a sausage off of the prince’s lunch tray.

Gideon figured as much. Merlin had told him that he was the last known dragonlord and that he was kin with the great dragon- Kilgharrah. It was unfortunate that even magic followed such misogynistic rules, for a birth rite to be passed only from father to son. Perhaps there would be more dragonlords left if there were allowed dragonladies.

“Yes. I remember.”

……..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this style of writing is fun, but I'm hoping you guys can follow along. let me know if its just too confusing and I should do more of the omniscience instead of dual scene (ja feel?)


	4. Are You Suggesting Arthur Has That Cake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am I ashamed? Yes. am I surprised? No. There may be several Shrek references in here.

A princess was coming to visit Camelot. King Uther had been pressuring Arthur to be on his best behaviour, for this princess was not one to be courted. In all honesty, the prince wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t a play to get him interested. He did tend to want what he could not have (his manservant in case that was not clear).

“I do have a lot of admirers. When I was younger a lot of princesses would come visit. I expect one of these days father will attempt to get me married to one of ‘em.” The prince was babbling while Merlin was taking off his chainmail. Merlin wouldn’t dare say, but Arthur’s pouts were very cute.

“I find it odd that he’s specifically requested not to court this one. I had not verbally expressed any interest in doing so. I haven’t even seen the princess yet.” King Uther was under this ridiculous notion that his son was a lady’s man, unaware that he was… otherwise inclined.

Arthur liked women, he did. He just had his head so far up Merlin’s asshole he couldn’t see straight. He’d one day settle down, marry a nice princess, birth a hundred little babies and be perfectly happy.

Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.1

“Perhaps he thought you were getting desperate.” His manservant pulled on the laces holding his gambeson together, to emphasize the jab. Arthur glared at him; an eyebrow raised.

“And what is that supposed to mean, Merlin?” Arthur was left in his undershirt that left little to the imagination. Merlin was facing away, arranging his garments.

“Just that, maybe you’ve been lonely. Hard to find company with a face like yours, my lord.” Merlin shot a look at the prince. The entirety of Camelot knew he was lying. Arthur didn’t struggle to find company because he never looked for it (he was too busy looking for his idiot servant). Merlin went weak at the knees at the prince’s smile. Everyone had their own secrets.

Arthur leaned on one hip, a sultry smile on his face. “Not all of us can be so popular with the ladies. It’s normal to feel inadequate in my presence.”

“Sire, if I may. Merlin has a _lot_ of admirers.” One could not imagine what possessed Gideon to speak at that moment. He just blurted it out, as if it pained him to try otherwise. Both men looked to the boy, who they had almost forgotten was there. They were both red in the face.

Gideon did not realize the gravity of what he had done. It no longer mattered; he couldn’t take it back.

“What?! Who?” Prince Arthur glared accusingly at the boy as if it were somehow his fault. Merlin's mouth was parted, but he had yet to come up with an intelligent sound. The dim wit did not know he had any admirers at all.

“I could not tell you who, sire. That’s confidential.” Of the three, there was not one of them who did not wish for this conversation to end.

“Well.” Arthur huffed. He thought it would be productive and very manly if he cuffed Merlin on the back of the head. Of course, one could not doubt his highness’ proclivities now that he had engaged in a display of violence (and thinly veiled excuse to touch the boy). No homoerotic tension was a match for: Manliness.

Merlin let out a disgruntled sound. “Why’d you hit me for? It’s not my fault I’m cute!”

“You’re not cute, Merlin. You look like a donkey with those ears of yours.” Arthur shrugged off his undershirt, but it got caught around his neck. After stilling for a moment, Merlin moved to assist him.

“Well, at least I don’t smell like one.”

1you have to read this in Shrek's voice.

……..

“Now that Merlin is gone, tell me who fancies him?” Prince Arthur hastily closed the doors to his chambers, having finally caught the boy alone.

“Sire?” Gideon knew that there was no way he had heard the last of their previous conversation, but he thought vainly that if he never brought it up again perhaps the prince would forget.

Prince Arthur had not forgotten, in fact, he had been analyzing everyone’s interaction with Merlin since. Merlin has a lot of admirers?! Merlin?! Every smile the boy gave, every overly generous gesture hung over Arthur. Well, maybe it wasn’t so crazy to think that one could admire him. He did have a certain charm about him-

But he didn’t! Not to Arthur, who had never stared a little too long while Merlin laced up his boots. Who never noticed that Merlin only did his hair before visiting Morgana. Who didn’t dare think of the consequences of slamming him up against a wall-

Goodness, no. Why would Arthur do that?

“You said Merlin had a lot of admirers. Who are they?” Arthur didn’t have any other agenda for wanting to know, he was simply curious as to who had fallen for such an idiot. Who was the type, he wondered, definitely not glancing at himself in the large mirror in the corner of his chambers.

“My lord, as I told you earlier, I can’t tell you.” Gideon was hoping the prince didn’t pressure him. He didn’t think he did well under pressure.

Arthur clenched his fists, not understanding this feeling he had. Why did he want to hunt down every last one of Merlin’s admirers and fix the problem? Why was it a problem? What did he have a problem with? The little prince was thinking, but the gears were turning slowly, as to not hurt himself in the process.

He let out of breath he didn’t realize he was holding and turned to Gideon. “Does Merlin… reciprocate?” The word felt wrong on his tongue. Part of him couldn’t believe he was discussing this behind closed doors, like a young maiden new to the world of boys. You see, young girls could only like discussing romance and boys would only ever think of fighting. It was science.

“..Uh…” Gideon felt his forehead creasing, thrumming painfully. How did he get himself into this mess? By never being able to shut up?

What was he supposed to tell the prince, that Merlin was in love with him? He had not actually gotten a confession on his behalf as of yet, and even if he had it would’ve been entirely inappropriate considering the betting pool he hosted. He couldn’t sway the game this way. But was it cynical to lie?

Gideon could not hear Arthurs beating heart, for if he could he would’ve called for the physician. He was sweating with a sick sense of dread that the boy would tell him that Merlin had eyes for another. Another? What was that supposed to mean, that he wanted Merlin’s eyes for himself? That, surely, couldn’t be what he was thinking.

Gideon had found his words.

“I believe he reciprocates someone’s feelings, sire. I cannot be sure, nor can I tell you, who.”

It was crippling, this cluster fuck of feelings inside his gut. He didn’t know what to make of it. It was unfortunate that the gay agenda in the prince was so little understood. Perhaps in another story, he could have realized at that moment that he was thirsting for Merlin, hence jealous. Alas, he came to a different conclusion.

He was jealous because Merlin was his _friend,_ and if his friend had a love interest then that would surely take away from the time they had together. He was also his servant, who had to dedicate his time to serving Arthur. No, Merlin admiring someone would diminish his abilities to do his job and that was unacceptable. Well, that made perfect sense.

He had to stop this, immediately.

……..

King Olaf and Lady Vivian have arrived in Camelot. Arthur was not impressed with his first meeting of the lady and has now entirely disregarded his father’s warning because he had zero interest.

He was much more focused on who the target of Merlin’s affections could be.

He had a few guesses.

Lady Morgana was beautiful, Arthur supposed. Gideon stressed that she was the impersonation of a goddess. The prince couldn’t understand it himself, however, since he saw Morgana as a sister. At this time in our story, the lovely sorceress was merely the king’s ward. Uther’s fuck boy tendencies had not yet been outed.

Still, Arthur felt rather gross checking out Morgana at dinner. There was indeed this veil of perfection that she held herself in- perfect skin, perfect hair. He watched as Merlin’s eyes trailed after her figure as he left the dining hall. She was suspect number one.

One couldn’t be sure what the prince had in mind for when he had determined Merlin’s crush, but as of right now his first priority was finding out who it was.

“Merlin, how do you find the Lady Morgana?” Merlin was walking beside him down the hall. Gideon would later hear this story from both points of view.

“Well, I would start by asking Guinevere where she could be.” A muffled slap was heard.

“That hurt!”

“Don’t be smart with me. What do you think of her? Do you find her…,” Arthur cleared his throat.

“Beautiful? Smart? Elegant? Everything you are not? Yes, my lord.” Merlin didn’t know what in the world Arthur had expected, but the idiot looked as if he had tasted something rotten. He figured he was looking to tease him and thought that being forthcoming would eliminate any ability to do so. Was he really going to ask if he found her unpleasant? He didn’t. Despite the common consensus, he was not blind.

He was a bit blind when it came to his feelings, and Arthur’s feelings, and everyone else’s feelings for him.

Arthur felt as if he would be sick. “Do you love her?”

The two had stopped in the middle of the hall. Merlin couldn’t believe his ears.

“No! God, no. Why do you ask?” For the tiniest moment, something flickered in Merlin’s belly. It was true that he was not in love with the Lady Morgana. It was the look on Arthur’s face as he asked, one could say almost anguished. For a fraction of second, Merlin allowed himself to live in a fantasy land where the prince didn’t want him to love her because it would crush him because maybe-

Because nothing. The thought was over before it started. Merlin didn’t care, anyways, if someone were to ask. Why was the prat asking again?

Prince Arthur was in a special brand of torment. He had dug himself into a hole by bulldozing (if such a thing had been invented yet) through preliminary questions to his true intentions. It was a weak move.

But he had been so rattled. Here he was thinking he would have to coax Merlin into admitting that he thought anything nice of Morgana and he had- he had sung her praises! Like it was nothing. Had Merlin every spoken so highly of him? Why, of course not. Why would he.

Except that Merlin did go on and on about how Arthur was noble, and a self-sacrificing idiot, and that his hair was annoyingly shiny, and that he had boundless faith in him to lead Camelot into an era of peace; Gaius could attest to that. It’s getting him to shut up that’s the trick.

“I’m the prince of Camelot. I don’t have to answer to you.” Though with less fire than usual, the rebuttal was familiar territory. Merlin made an unattractive sound as he sighed exasperatedly. Arthur wasn’t himself today.

Before Merlin could say anything more, Arthur reached out and ruffled the boy’s hair, pushing him lazily away from him. “Let us get on, now. I noticed this morning that you stole another one of my sausages off my breakfast tray. I ran an experiment of sorts; you see, I specifically requested three sausages and I only got two. I don’t know if you can count that high, Merlin, but there’s one missing.”

“’all part of the plan to keep you fighting fit, my lord.”

……..

Sir Leon busted open the door to the armoury to find Merlin chatting with Sir Gwaine and Sir Percival. Perhaps at another time, you would’ve found the manservant working diligently to shine Prince Arthur’s shield, for that was the chore he had been sent to do. However, he found that there was a matter of higher priority- Gwaine saw Lancelot and Guinevere leave a closet… on the dishevelled side.

It was this moment; Gwaine had his hands in the air about to exclaim that they _had_ to tell Elyan, Merlin was leaning forward from his awkward (folding lawn chair style) squat, Percival was leaning backwards having already heard the story (but then Gwaine dragged him along because he _had_ to find Merlin and tell him), and Gideon sitting on the steps almost entirely forgotten.

The door hit the wall with a shocking slam, sending Gideon down a few steps as he tried to save his ass. The lot all looked to Leon. The knight was pale.

“Something’s wrong with Arthur!” Everyone stood up, catching onto the gravity of the situation. While Merlin could attest that there were many things wrong with him, he did not think Sir Leon was here to discuss the prince’s personality.

“Is he hurt? What happened?” Merlin clutched the shield that he was supposed to be shining with white knuckles.

Sir Leon shook his head. “No, he’s,” He paused.

Merlin let go of the shield and let it hit the floor, his arms moving to sit on his hips. If Arthur wasn’t hurt Merlin wasn’t going to lose any sleep over what the idiot had gotten himself into.

“He was picking flowers.” Sir Gwaine gasped and took a step back. The princess was picking flowers?! Now he was concerned.

“What’s wrong with that?” Sir Percival had not shown much reaction to the whole ordeal, for he was still waiting for the punch line. You see, Percy didn’t see anything wrong with a man picking flowers in his spare time, as one should.

Sir Leon swallowed, checking to see if anyone was around, before he whispered back at them, “They were for Lady Vivian.”

Merlin’s face drained of colour. Shit.

……..

“We are gathered here today to discuss the game plan.” Or the gay plan, which would have been a more accurate depiction.

Lady Morgana’s fingernails trailed across the table, eliciting a pleasant clank. Gideon swallowed.

“Arthur and Lady Vivian are enchanted. Lady Vivian,” The lot looked to Morgana’s bed, where she lay unconscious, “Is not of concern at the moment, but time is running out.”

Sir Elyan put up his hand. “Yes, Elyan?”

“Where is Arthur?”

“Well, now. If you didn’t rush me, I would tell you.” Morgana held out her hand toward Gwen who seamlessly placed a butter knife in it. She pointed the knife towards the knight.

“Merlin, Lancelot, and Leon have Arthur incapacitated in his chambers. We need you lot,” she swung the knife around to look at Sir Percival, Sir Gwaine, Gideon, before stopping at an unfamiliar face.

“Who are you?” The boy was a few years older than Gideon but still had a babyface.

“I’m just a stable boy, my lady.” Morgana faltered.

“What are you doing here?”

“Merlin said I could go to stocks or help out.” It really was unfortunate that such a humble servant boy had been in the face of confrontation.

Prince Arthur was desperate for his horse, claiming he needed to ride out to find Lady Vivian. He wasn’t aware the lady had gone missing. But then his manservant and some knights came running up yelling at the boy to stop the prince at all costs. He couldn’t be blamed for knocking the prince out cold. He didn’t do well under pressure.

“Alright then,” Morgana let the tip of her knife graze Gideon’s neck. His poor pubescent brain fried up.

“You are all to distract the kings. Do whatever you have to do. I don’t care what you tell Uther, as long as he does not find out magic has been used at the heart of Camelot.” The men stood at attention.

“King Olaf is not to find out that the crown prince has been sucking face with his daughter. Are we clear?” Everyone nodded.

Guinevere picked up a sword and shared a look with Morgana. They smiled.

“We ladies have a more sensitive matter to attend to, one that requires a woman’s touch. We’ll meet back here before dinner. If the two love birds are still enchanted, we will have to use a more grievous strategy.”

And if a certain court jester was never seen again, it couldn’t possibly be at the hands of some lowly maiden. Everyone knows women can’t use swords.

……..

“How did you get rid of the enchantment, Merlin?” Gideon cornered the man outside the prince’s chambers. He knew he had been avoiding him.

Merlin looked everywhere but at him. He shook his head. Gideon’s head wanted to explode.

He had no problem admitting he was the world’s most powerful sorcerer, hidden away in a kingdom where magic was illegal, that he spoke to dragons, and committed all types of treason, but he wouldn’t tell Gideon how he got rid of Arthur’s enchantment? Oh, it ate at him. The boy didn’t understand the internal conflict Merlin faced at the moment.

He knew Merlin didn’t use his magic because he had been there to see the boy attempt to. Killing the man who placed the enchantment didn’t work either. So, what could he have done?

Merlin prayed his face did not flush.

“It was a fluke.” Gideon’s eyes narrowed. He was not so foolish to think that the situation had just fixed itself.

The manservant was still processing the events that had transpired but a day ago. How could one blame the boy for avoiding the truth? Kilgharra had mentioned some ridiculous possibility- that true love saves all and that brand of crap- and Merlin had-

Well, Merlin did what he had to do. Arthur had collapsed and complained of a headache afterwards, appearing not to remember what had happened under the spell.

The prince did remember what had occurred under the spell, but it was dreamlike in quality. So much so, that he could not be certain that he hadn’t made it all up in his head.

“Merlin!” Both boys could hear the prince call for him. Gideon poked Merlin hard in the ribs.

“You’ve gotten away with it this time. But you will tell me.”

Merlin swallowed. The threat looming over him.

Oh, but how could he tell him that he had kissed the prince? Surely, in some twisted way, that was his worst offence against the crown. Arthur actually might execute him.

But then again, probably not, because the kiss had worked.

……..

“Merlin quit shifting about.” The two were riding out with some other knights to check out a complaint in the lower towns. Some bandits or sorcery or something that had Uther sitting with his asshole clenched.

“We’ve been riding a long time.” Merlin kept shifting because his legs had grown numb.

“Is your little bottom sore?” It would be very in character for the young prince to comment on the boy’s _little bottom_. It didn’t matter if a few of the knights had rolled their eyes, for no one would be paying attention to them. You couldn’t prove it afterwards.

“Yes. It’s not as fat as yours.” Arthur scoffed, no doubt readying a sassy comeback, or perhaps some reminder that he was the crown prince and Merlin couldn’t speak to him like that.

And here we see that yet another fortnight has passed in Camelot; none the wiser that anything may have transpired. No wind storm had torn through the citadel, no corpse risen from the dead. Practically speaking, an intimate moment that may or may not have occurred between his lordliness and our young warlock had no consequence. Who would be there to know that their feelings were starting to take tangible shape?

Arthur still did not know who Merlin admired. Merlin had begun to think that there was someone he did admire. But only a little bit, and it was a strong maybe. Luckily for the two, or in a manner that could be deemed equally unfortunate, they had silently agreed to not think about it (lest they hurt themselves).

Our two protagonists ride off under the guise of ignorance.


	5. I Might Be Stupid, But I'm Not An Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a whole lot of gay pining, just cause I feel like y'all need it. expect angst coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it hasn't actually been forever since I updated but this chapter should've been up earlier tbh. i was so SO sick this past week I actually stopped drinking coffee. Do you know how FUCKED you have to be to stop drinking coffee after drinking it Non Stop for the last four years? Grammarly says my note sounds angry XD. this ain't beta-ed yet so just, oof. hang in there.

Gideon had snuck into the dining hall. There was some feast going on for some successful quest (or other frivolous excuse) that he had not actually been invited to, but took the liberty to join because his mother was busy in the kitchens and no one would bother with a young brat at this hour.

He sat in a chair propped against the wall, where he had a decent view of the prince and his servant. His parchment was seated on a flat stone that made writing much easier. He had taken the last hour to observe the two on his own.

Merlin was serving the prince, of course, but would also help other servants carry their trays and take on duties that weren’t his own. One would assume it was because he was taking every opportunity to leave Prince Arthur’s side.

On closer investigation, it appeared Merlin chatted with every servant he came across, and received about as much attention as the king. He was very popular amongst servants and nobles alike. There was always someone that made eyes at him.

Most notably, the prince himself.

Every two minutes, like clockwork, Arthur would look around the room. Once he found Merlin, he would soften a bit around the edges, smile a little wider, and then go back to whatever he was doing before. The difference was only just visible. One could suppose that if he only took a quick moment no one would catch him.

Unless you were a fourteen-year-old boy who had taken it upon yourself to stalk the prince. Gideon gave up noting the phenomena after the double digits. Once you saw it, it was hard to not see it.

“Gwen, do you see the prince?”

Guinevere was serving Lady Morgana, and had not left her post but to grab another glass from the kitchens. Morgana liked to have a shot of whiskey every time Uther mentioned something of sorcery but had to do so discreetly, and so Gwen would sneak off into the kitchens to bring her back her ‘medicinal tea’. No one had caught on yet.

The serving girl was startled by the boy.

“Do I-? Yes, I can see him from here.” Guinevere didn’t know what she was supposed to be seeing in the prince, but she was not impressed. She wouldn’t dare be so mean, but Merlin had a point calling him all those bad names. He was a bit… not nice. To give credit where it is due, she would admit that he seemed a lot nicer know that Merlin was babysitting him.

“Watch what he does.” As expected, the prince took a moment to look at his manservant. The second time it happened, she turned to Gideon.

“You mean how he watches Merlin? He isn’t the only one.” Gwen saw Morgana making faces at her, no doubt wondering where her ‘tea’ was. The lady was probably beyond drunk at this point, and Gwen thought she could wait.

“But do you see how Merlin doesn’t watch him?” The two turned to watch the man as he danced around the room.

He went back to the main table to pour some noble his drink. They could not hear what was happening over the rumble of the room, but Merlin had said something and Percival had choked on his drink. He poured some more wine for Arthur, but didn’t directly look at the prince until he was grabbed by his neckerchief.

The two looked at each other, and while Arthur was clearly holding himself back from throwing something, they were smiling. It was a little sickening, to be honest. Definitely getting a gay vibe. The prince threw the scarf back in his face.

Gwen and Gideon looked at each other.

“Merlin may not watch him but… that was some smile.” The girl noticed the Lady Morgana had begun beckoning her with her fingers. She smiled.

“I’ll catch up with you later.”

Gideon spent the better part of an hour watching the two dance around each other. Finally, as the evening was approaching its end, he saw Merlin standing alone refilling his pitcher of wine.

The servant boy looked up to find the prince, way over on the other side of the hall. Miraculously, the prince was actually not looking back. Arthur was chatting with Leon, his fingers patting a rhythm into the table. He had had a few glasses of wine at this point. Merlin saw him throw his head back and laugh, a little like a horse, and then quickly looked down to the job he should’ve been paying attention to.

It was a bit too late, as some wine had already spilled. He had been distracted, clearly. Everyone was too drunk and too tired to notice. Merlin closed his eyes and smiled to himself, before clearing his expression and bending down to wipe the mess up.

Gideon groaned, his head in his hands. This was painful to watch.

……..

“Merlin?!” Gideon could hear Arthur yell from down the hall.

He and Gaius were supposed to be chatting about the worst injuries he had seen (as Gideon had a perverted attraction to emergency medicine), but the boy had been coerced into cleaning the leach tank. Merlin was off practising his magic for some reason or another, or maybe he had gone to talk to the Great Dragon? Gideon wasn’t paying attention.

The door to the physician’s quarter barged open.

“Gaius, have you seen Merlin?”

Anywhere but the tavern, is what he had said. Out picking herbs? Some physician’s apprentice emergency? Gaius knew what he was doing. His face was a picture of innocence.

“He’s- have you tried the tavern?” Gideon slipped at Gaius’ remark, his hand audibly hitting the glass. He dared himself not to laugh. Arthur glanced at him for a second.

“The tavern. Thank you, Gaius.” He turned around, not entirely convinced.

The two shared at look at the prince’s expense.

……..

“He’s ungrateful, is what he is.” Merlin was bringing up buckets for a bath, when Gideon caught up to him.

The boys shared the burden of carrying the buckets because the he would be allowed a moment to talk after filling the bath before Arthur needed him again, as per request. Gideon was sweating as he brought up the last bucket, despite the enchantment that made them lighter.

“For all the times I save his life, you would think he would risk saying thank you.” They sat across each other, somewhere in the servant’s stairwell. His back was up against the wall.

“He doesn’t know that you save his life.” They were whispering. Gideon did not have his papers with him but he figured he could sum up this conversation from memory at a later date. His arms were aching.

Merlin wasn’t even breathing hard. “He knows I drank the poison for him, he knows I’m always with him. I always go with him, into any battle.”

“But if you won’t tell him, and he won’t thank you, why do you risk your life for his?” Merlin found something fascinating in his hands, that was easier to stare at then the boy.

“He’s destined to be the greatest king Camelot has ever- Albion has ever seen. It’s kind of my job, _my_ birth right to protect him. Make sure he falls ass first on the throne.”

That was the truth. His destiny was babysitting Arthur, as far as Kilgharrah and other cryptic bastards knew. It was probably this unseen force that coerced him into sacrificing so much for the young prince.

“But that’s… there are knights to do that. You are at great risk just living in the castle being who you are- uncontrollably- and you then decide that that isn’t enough and you should take it upon yourself to be his friend.”

Merlin stopped fiddling with his nails and looked up in surprise. “I’m his friend?”

“He’d smite me where I stand if he heard me, but yes. At the very least, you are his friend.” That didn’t sit well with Merlin for some reason. On one hand, he was glad that maybe the prince did appreciate him. On the other… well.

“Lance, Gwaine, _they_ are my friends. Arthur is…,” He didn’t know where he was going with this. Arthur yelled at him, threw things at him, put him in the stocks, and made his life misery. But no, that wasn’t right. He didn’t hate him that much, and even an idiot could admit to themselves that craving to be at one’s side was not _friendly._ Merlin prayed he didn’t blush. An idiot he was, indeed.

“He’s my friend.” Gideon nods.

“Who you find attractive?”

“I- what?!” Merlin straightened his back, looking behind Gideon for some escape route. The younger boy grabbed his wrist.

“Please don’t leave! You love Lance and Gwaine, right? Your friends?” Merlin didn’t relax, but he let himself fall back against the wall.

“Yes, why-?”

“And you would risk your life to save them.” Gideon leaned in, his hand crushing Merlin’s wrist into the ground.

“Of course, but-?”

“So, you love Arthur?”

“ _What?!_ No!”

“What’s the difference?” The young warlock was now breathing hard, his face scrunched in confusion.

He knew, he still felt the stupid tingle of magic or true love bullshit that day he had kissed Arthur. He knew he didn’t love Arthur like he loved his friends. But he couldn’t admit that- not now, not ever. Arthur was a prince, who had to marry a princess. Maybe there was a slight chance that Arthur knowingly felt the same (please refer above, true love’s kiss) but there was _no_ chance that they could be together.

He was a man, but more importantly a servant, and most importantly a warlock with so much magic that flowers grew out of his asshole. It was better to never admit anything, knowing how much it would hurt.

“The difference? Arthur’s a royal prat, for one. I’m also fairly certain that he’s yelling for me because I’ve been gone too long.” He ripped his hand away, trying to quickly get away (but not outright sprint lest he come off as guilty- though he didn’t know of what).

Gideon sat with his palms on the ground. He had accomplished something today.

……..

Sir Gwaine was very drunk, as he commonly was after hours. One could consider the effect his lifestyle had on the liver, but the knight figured he was going to die at the end of a sword, or a mace (that would be cool) long before it caught up with him.

He was making snow angels in the flowery meadow he and Merlin had run off to. Merlin was supposed to be picking herbs (and Sir Gwaine assisting) but they had taken a pit stop at the tavern to say hello to Sir Percival and that meant Gwaine _had_ to stop in to say hello to his favorite bartender, and then of course somebody had spotted Merlin and well, they took some time there.

Percival was on duty, so despite Gwaine’s efforts he couldn’t join the two. Merlin had refused to drink, claiming he still had to go get those herbs. Then sometime after half the tavern had flirted with Merlin, and someone started serenading the boy (not Gwaine), this group of men came in. At first, nothing was amiss, but then somebody bumped into Merlin (definitely not Gwaine) and caused him to bump into one of their men, who spilled his drink on his clothes.

The man grabbed Merlin, but before he could land a hit, someone else threw the first punch (okay this time it might have been Gwaine). At the time, it seemed necessary to resort to violence. The group of men all came for the two of them, waving their heavy tankards around like weapons, so Percy had to get involved. The two of them were escorted out, but not before somebody commented that Sir Percival had that ass (looking back, this was definitely Gwaine) and they got a motherly chastising. Seriously Merlin, what were you thinking?

And so, Merlin had taken a bumbling knight with him into the forest, and was now growing flowers around his head. Gwaine often commented to Gideon that he didn’t know how anyone could look at the guy and not see magic.

The warlock watched the tiny flowers bloom through his fingers. It gave him an idea.

……..

Gideon knew that this could’ve been the last day of his life.

“What do you think of magic, sire?” He was sweating.

“What?” The prince seemed outraged, in an obnoxious way. He quickly stood up from his desk, walked purposefully over to his door, checked left and right, locked the door, and then sat back down. He blew a hair out of his eyes. His face shifted to something less menacing.

“Run that by me again?” The boy cleared his throat.

“What do you think of magic?” This time he whispered. Gideon didn’t understand what game Prince Arthur was playing, but he felt as if a pawn not a player.

“I am not my father,” the prince sighed. He rubbed his face.

“I know there are peaceful people with magic. I know it can’t all be bad. I mean I’m eighty percent certain someone I care about very much has magic.” The two leaned in, Gideon breathless.

Could he actually know?

“Morgana.” He whispered, then the two pulled back. Arthur frowned, noticing that Gideon didn’t seem surprised.

“You don’t have a problem with it?” Gideon rested his elbows on the desk, looking at him for any sign of- of anything. He didn’t know what he was looking for. He just didn’t expect the prince to be so calm.

“Well, it’s not like I know anything about magic. I don’t understand why my father has such a problem with it. He truly doesn’t see what he does- murdering children- I mean. There is a lot of evil in this world…” the prince trailed off, obviously upset. He loved his father but he didn’t have anything nice to say about him.

“What about… anyone else?” The prince, in his depressed stupor, was surprised by this question.

“What do you mean- anyone else? Anyone else having magic?”

“Yeah- do you think anyone else you know,” he hesitates, “could have magic?”

Arthur blinks at that.

“I guess I didn’t think of that. There’re probably at least a few sorcerers that were born with magic-” Merlin had told him way back that people could be born with it, “-that live in Camelot. Some of them might not even know yet, children too.” He chewed thoughtfully on his thumb. He spit it out as soon as he noticed; he could hear Merlin berating him later like he was his wife or something.

Or something.

“So, you’ve never questioned… say, Merlin.”

The prince guffawed, “Merlin? He’s not a sorcerer, believe me, I would know.”

……..

“Gaius, have you seen Merlin? Why is he always missing?” Prince Arthur stood in the doorway to the physician’s quarters. He looked genuinely confused, perhaps one would dare think him worried.

Gaius was summoning every ounce of self restraint to not look at Merlin, who was huddling behind the door. He had been asked to tell the prince that he was _anywhere but the tavern_. Alas, Gaius was at that age where a man no longer gives a shit.

“I believe he said he was at the tavern.”

From his point of view, Gaius could easily see the simultaneous reaction of the two. Merlin glared daggers at him, and the prince glared daggers at the floor.

“He’s at the tavern. Of course,” The prince turned around, his fists clenching as he made his way back to where ever he came from.

“I’m going to make him wish he was never born.”

……..

Arthur and Gideon awkwardly went the same direction.

This was the one occasion he did not mean to run into him, but he still smiled and nodded. Gideon feared he could be thrown in the dungeons otherwise. It didn’t occur to him they would continue along side each other down the corridor. He felt pressured to speak.

“Nice day today, sire.” Arthur wanted to choke him. This was not the time to be making small talk. He was steaming, determined to wipe the floor with Merlin when he came around. Worried? Him? For that twat? Never.

“It will be.” He glanced out towards the field that faced the arching windows. He stilled.

Gideon, for all his social prowess, noticed and stopped as well. The prince walked around him to lean on the ledge. He peered out.

His idiot manservant was giving flowers to Morgana. Unmistakeably, he stood far too close to her with a bundle of lilacs in his hands. He said something, then handed them over. Her cheeks reddened and she smiled shyly. Morgana didn’t do shy! Arthur felt himself shaking.

He had lied to him. Of course, he liked the Lady Morgana. Why wouldn’t he? He had to play it off otherwise Arthur would tease him about it. Sometimes, the prince’s head did function, albeit slowly (and incorrectly, mind you).

Gideon walked over to see for himself. They couldn’t hear what was being said, but Morgana was twirling her hair around her fingers, and Merlin’s ears were far too red. Arthur’s favorite colour. The prince was in turmoil.

The two boys took a moment to watch the objects of their affections as they flirted. It was only a minute later that the two parted ways, Merlin no doubt headed to wherever the prince wasn’t. Arthur felt his traitorous heart ache. Again with this stupid feelings nonsense.

“He doesn’t bring _me_ flowers.” It was almost as if he didn’t mean to say it allowed. None the less, Gideon was there to judge him.

Gideon had been frowning himself, off in his own world. He knew it was a stupid thing to crush on Lady Morgana when she was far too many summers his senior and also a lady. It did not mean the boy had no right to the nuances of jealousy.

“I didn’t know you liked flowers.” The boy glanced at the prince. He was coming to terms with his own heartbreak, unbeknownst to him.

The prince scowled, “I don’t.” That was that. He wanted flowers from Merlin. Merlin, who was his friend, his friend and nothing more and he was upset- he was only upset because- because-?! The wheels on the bus, or rather his train of thought, go round and round. Slowly but surely.

He sighed.


	6. 14 Signs He's Actually Into You (and Not Just Being Polite)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arthur continues to deny he's in love. he stalks him, then has gay farmer fantasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is this so long?? also i apologize I feel like the narrative ain't as clean but when I edit it all I'll bother with it more. also I lied i thought this was gonna be like 25k but it'll be more like 30k. also let me know if u vibing cause I'm almost daring to make this 9 chapters and drag out the next arc, let me know if you want more angst.

The atmosphere in the castle was palpable. The knights went in for training that morning, sweat behind their ears. The lot of them hovered outside the armoury door, where no doubt the prince was waiting for them to grab their swords and get started.

Sir Gwaine nudged Sir Percival, “I’ll bet you a drink that we go in there, and princess is making sad googly eyes at Merls.”

The taller knight eyed him, wondering if maybe Gwaine started the drink early this morning.

“I’m not going to take that bet. I don’t doubt that he is.” Sir Gwaine snickered.

“I’ll bet you he’s in there angry at us for not coming in on time,” Sir Elyan spoke up.

“Then why don’t you go in first, my lord?” The two of them glared at each other, Gwaine stuck out his tongue. Sir Leon took the bait.

He knocked before he entered, never having done so before. It was just the armoury, where a knight like Sir Leon was meant to peruse. One can take a gander that the man had some insight into the situation, and that surely if he knocked first, the prince and his manservant would be appropriate immediately afterwards.

It was a useless safety net.

“Good morning, sire?” The prince was brooding, and sure enough, making sad googly eyes at his servant two feet away who was folding something or other. No one really cared what he was doing. It was clear what he (or who) he was not doing.

At attention, he looked up to greet his knights, who he did not catch on were a bit late. He had spent the entire morning willing Merlin to tell him the truth, as if one could do so with just body language.

“Good morning, all. We’ve got a rigorous-” Gwaine groaned, very loudly, and Arthur glared at him, “-session planned this morning. I figured we could let off some steam.”

The knights were right to be wary. It was a difficult morning.

……..

Sir Leon was pulled aside. The prince had something top secret to discuss. Gideon, of course, snuck in.

“Leon, I…,” He sighed and looked around. “It has come to my attention that Merlin is keeping secrets from me.”

Leon took this quiet moment to panic. Did Arthur suspect his magic? What would that mean for the happy family dynamic they had going on if he did? The knight had not dared question Arthur’s nobility before, but he did wonder sometimes if the prince would ultimately choose his father. In the past, the prince did tend to be misled by his hateful notions, in a misplaced attempt to please him. Outwardly, Sir Leon showed no conflict.

Arthur had not begun to even suspect Merlin had magic, but was rather going on about his evident infatuation with Lady Morgana. It was only evident to him, as everyone else in Camelot had eyes. The prince’s head was ringing with the questions he was afraid to ask. What if it went beyond that? What if the two were already courting? The stupid idiot wouldn’t come clean when he had asked so it was now up to Arthur to look out for him.

Everyone knew it was dangerous to be involved with a woman like Morgana. Really, at the end of the day, Arthur was just doing him a favour. For a friend. That’s it.

“Sire?” The prince looked resigned.

“I need to do some investigation. Bring me the infiltrators.”

……..

The infiltrators were Sir Gwaine and Sir Lancelot.

“I don’t get why he calls us the infiltrators. We are on Merlin’s side. In any case, we’re…reverse infiltrators. Double agents. Oh, that’s cool.” Gwaine sat next to a tired looking Lance. He shot a smile at him.

Sir Lancelot rubbed his face, “I don’t want to be involved with this. If you guys want to go behind Merlin’s back, you go ahead.”

A flush slowly crept up his neck. It was true that he and a certain maidservant had begun snogging in every private crevice of the castle, and he had been keeping himself up at night wondering what it meant. The knight didn’t know if they were courting now- or did she want to court? Or-

His head was occupied with these useless flowery thoughts. Not that he would go behind his best friend’s back on a good day. Sir Gwaine was correct, Lancelot was Merlin’s man. If Arthur wanted to play some practical joke or other, he was asking the wrong man.

“I believe he means to stalk him. He thinks Merlin’s courting Lady Morgana.” Gideon's mouth curled downward, in the slightest frown. The words sounded wrong being spoken aloud. Only an idiot would think Merlin was _actually_ courting Morgana. Only an idiot would try.

Lady Morgana was not someone who was courted. One would ask nicely, and wait and see if she would let you live.

Gwaine snorted.

“Princess is off his rocker if he thinks that. Only him,” He shook his head.

Lance yawned. He shook his head, as if to rid himself of sleep. He turned to Gwaine.

“What if he finds out about Merlin’s magic? Spying on him…,” Gwaine rolled his eyes.

“I doubt he’d catch on even if Merlin set fire to the castle and started wearing a pointy hat.”

…….

They were spying on him. Arthur led the way, followed by Leon and Gwaine. A few paces behind him was Gideon, nervously biting his fingernails like they were following a big scary beast. In a way, with the knowledge the boy had of Merlin’s power, perhaps he was wary to catch himself on the warlock’s bad side.

The prince felt a bit ridiculous, if he was being honest. Sneaking around his own castle? It had come to this.

He watched as Merlin rounded a corner with a basket full of fruit. Where he had got the fruit, he did not know. Arthur’s gut clenched with the idea that perhaps he was taking it off to Morgana, maybe to have a picnic. Why the thought was so vile to him was a dubious affair, but amongst the group, the prince was yet the only one who still questioned his intentions.

Merlin appeared to be in a good mood, and occasionally a hum could be heard travelling down the corridor. His happiness just made the situation worse. Arthur hadn’t decided how he felt about the situation.

The prince checked around the corner, and gave the signal that it was all clear. The four of them followed the boy as he made his way out of the castle.

Once Merlin crossed the courtyard, the prince continued onwards. He was clearly headed into town, but why was a mystery. Arthur’s chest felt lighter when he came to the conclusion that there was no way Merlin was headed to Morgana’s. But then where was he going?

They had to don disguises. Heading into the market as the prince was never a silent affair, and what they needed right now was stealth. Arthur wore a scarf around his head, and a long peasant’s cloak. Leon also traded his finer clothes for some cheaper garments. Gwaine was holding the frock that no doubt would be unflattering as he spoke,

“Can’t I just go shirtless?” The knights sent him a glare. Gideon shushed him, as Merlin walked right by the alley that they were hiding in. He still had a basket of fruits.

Arthur made to walk out into the streets when Merlin suddenly turned around. The prince jerked back, where Leon, Gwaine, and Gideon bumped into one another in turn.

“Leon, why is your back rock hard?” One couldn’t say if it was with admiration or irritation that the knight asked. Leon sent him a pointed look regardless, one that was too resigned to call a glare.

“Would you two shut it?” The prince fired back. Leon looked at him, open mouth and outraged, prepared to blame Gwaine. His anger lasted but a moment, for he realized the futility of arguing.

Merlin had turned around and knelt to talk to a child. He reached into his basket and pulled out an apple, that the kid took before smiling. The servant boy smiled back. The exchange was so fast one could’ve easily missed it if not for that fact that Arthur had been watching him intently.

A feeling rose in his chest, heavy and light at the same time. It clawed its way into his neck, and he realized to his embarrassment, that he was probably blushing. Due to fortunate circumstances, the present company did not catch on because the scarf hid most of his face.

What was this fondness that he felt-? So interlinked with irritation, that it approached madness. He couldn’t put a name to it.

Merlin ran off again, this time stopping to chat up some old ladies at a fabric display.

“Princess?” Gwaine poked him in his arm, for he had been standing too still for too long.

“We’ve got a good view of him now. He won’t be leaving the market anytime soon it seems.”

……..

Merlin had a few hours to spare before Arthur got so angry at him for disappearing that he threw him in the dungeons, so he decided to cut his visit to the market short.

He handed out apples to everyone who spared a smile, until he had none left. Then a merchant dumped more apples into his basket, before grabbing his cheeks and kissing him loudly.

“You’re a darling, Merlin. Thank you for helping with Nel’s sores.” Nel was a dog that kind of belonged to the streets, but also found a home with everyone. Merlin had taken two minutes to magically heal the sores that littered her back. The warlock found it easier to heal animals for some reason.

“It was nothing. I’m studying to be a physician and it’s important to get field experience.” It was a load of crap and they both knew it.

The lady lightly pushed him away, “Oh, you. Too modest. Say hello to Gaius for me.”

Merlin was just leaving when he bumped into Gideon.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” The boy asked him. He looked a little sick.

“I’m just out and about. I’ve got to go get some herbs for Gaius and I just stopped to say hello to everyone. Apple?” He offered the fruit in one outstretched hand. Maybe he was just hungry, and that’s why he was pale.

Gideon swallowed. It was a good-looking apple, and his bottomless stomach yearned for it. He grasped it with both hands, as if holding something precious.

The prince had sent him to ‘run into’ Merlin and ask what he was up to. The prince’s patience was running a little thin, he supposed, for all Merlin did the last hour was flirt with grannies and hand out apples like he some spring Santa Claus or something. Perhaps he was wing-manning for Gaius, as Gwaine had suggested, but there were only so many adorable activities Merlin could partake in before Arthur blew a fuse. Gwaine and Leon were both leaning against some wooden cart, waiting for the princess to call the whole thing off.

“Thanks. I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you later!” Gideon ran off. The manservant noted that he was acting very strangely. One could guess, Gideon didn’t often leave Merlin to his peace.

He watched him run off into the market, in the opposite direction of the castle. Merlin shook his head fondly, considering for a moment that that was exactly how he must be perceived at times. He was correct.

……..

“Picking herbs for Gaius? How many herbs does Gaius need? Why don’t we plant him his own garden or something?” The prince was grumbling as they followed Merlin to the edge of the woods, from a safe distance away.

The lot of them had shed themselves of their disguise and were now dragging their feet. Gwaine had miscalculated. Princess was not going to give up any time soon.

“If we knew now that he’s not secretly rendezvousing with Lady Morgana then why are we still following him?” Gwaine threw his hands up. The older knight sighed, agreeing with him. Leon had better things to do than indulge Arthur in his perverted voyeuristic emotional foreplay.

Arthur glared at him.

“If he were going to secretly rendezvous with Lady Morgana, going into the woods under the guise of picking herbs would be perfect- wouldn’t it?” He cuffed Gwaine on the back on the head. Leon rolled his eyes.

Gideon shuffled nervously behind them. He couldn’t mention it now but he tried desperately to telepathically send a warning into their heads. One would think that going into the woods under the guise of picking herbs was also when Merlin did magic. He held himself, hands grasping his thin upper arms.

They tracked him, thinking it would be better to keep a larger distance between them. It would be easier to be caught now that there was no one around. Even if they were caught, Arthur didn’t have to explain himself- he was the prince! But also, Merlin might ignore him and that was a punishment too severe to bear.

The stopped when they hit the edge of a clearing. It was a meadow that Gwaine recognized, for this was where he had watched Merlin grow flowers after an eventful trip to the tavern. He took on a serious expression, as he came to the conclusion that he had come here to perform more magic.

Leon was unaware that this was Merlin’s go-to spot, but unlike the other two, he wasn’t an idiot. He also quickly came to the conclusion that there was a good chance Merlin would perform magic. The two knights looked to each other, sharing a nod, before watching the prince.

Arthur was watching Merlin graze his hands on the long grass of the meadow. He was far enough away, and with his back to them, that he couldn’t see exactly what was happening. Alas, destiny was a bitch and had decided to play her own games.

A deer peeked into the clearing. This had no other consequence but Merlin turning his head to smile at the unexpected guest. Thoughtlessly, he grew the grass around the deer longer, and the deer munched away.

No other consequence, except for Arthur watching as Merlin’s eyes turned gold. Even from the side, it was obvious, they practically glowed. He wasn’t paying attention to the deer, or the length of the grass, or anything else. He watched as his manservant looked down to the grass at his feet and started growing leafy plants and flowers.

The moment Arthur’s jaw dropped, they pounced.

Leon had his hand around Arthur’s mouth, muffling his cry. Luckily, he hadn’t planned on screaming, because a hand wouldn’t have been enough to muffle that. Gwaine grabbed Arthur’s shoulders.

They dragged him a hundred meters away before letting him go. Arthur ripped them off him.

“You didn’t have to do that!” They spoke over each other.

“Arthur, I know what you saw-”

“Princess, this is Merlin we’re talking about-”

“-he’s saved us so many times-”

“-he was growing flowers!”

“-I really don’t prefer dying-”

“-he’s so cute, you can’t hate him-”

“-we haven’t died yet-”

“-if you hurt him, Morgana will kill you and I will cover for her-”

“-you can’t tell your father!”

“Would you two quit it?!” Arthur was out of breath.

He just needed a moment of silence and those idiots wouldn’t shut up.

Okay, so. Merlin had magic. That was evident. Gwaine and Leon both knew, that was also obvious given their ranting. They thought that Arthur wouldn’t be okay with it and were trying vehemently to convince him otherwise.

“I’m not going to hurt him!” He pushed his hair out of his face.

Leon and Gwaine were staring at him, on edge, and if waiting for a bomb to go off. One could suppose that that was exactly what they were doing.

Gideon, long forgotten, was watching with wide eyes.

“I just need- I’m going to go think.” Arthur marched towards the castle. The three of them glanced at his leaving form. That wasn’t the reaction they expected.

The prince, indeed, just wanted a moment to think. Even if he hurt himself.

Gideon ran after him.

……..

“He’s a sorcerer.” Arthur’s head spun.

“Yeah.” Gideon uselessly whispered back.

Arthur couldn’t wrap his head around it. Merlin- _Merlin-_ had magic. The boy who tripped over his own feet and fed apples to children and stole his sausages had magic. It didn’t make sense.

He wasn’t evil. There was no way. How could he have lied about this for so long, unless maybe he did have ulterior motives? Maybe, he was never sincere. Maybe the Merlin he knew didn’t exist, and that one thought pained him so much, he doubled over.

“Why?” He didn’t know what he was asking. Why had Merlin chosen to practise magic?

Maybe he was born with it. He hid it because it was illegal obviously. But he had lied. To Arthur.

Was it the same as betrayal? It didn’t feel like it. The prince was so distraught by the idea that Merlin was actually an evil spy who had wormed his way into his heart for kicks that he couldn’t breathe right. The thought was unbearable. Impossible. It had to be otherwise.

Merlin must have picked up some basic magic to help grow Gaius his stupid herbs, because that sounded exactly like the self-sacrificing idiot he knew. It would make sense that if the boy had garden variety magic (as if Arthur knew anything about it) that he would use it to help others.

“It's-” He stopped. How could he word this?

“It's still Merlin, right?” He looked at Gideon, sitting dutifully across from him on the floor where he had come to sulk.

“You know him.” He nodded. That made the acidity in his throat relax a bit. It would be rather unsightly if he threw up now.

He thought that maybe he was angry, now that he knew that he had been lied to, but he was just buzzing. There was a buzzing in his ears, in his head, his skin. Merlin had magic. He had lied to him.

But it wasn’t as if he was all that powerful, he assumed. The prince of course went the logical route, considering that if all Merlin did was grow flowers, and maybe magic a few lucky branches to break, then he couldn’t be all that powerful anyway. Maybe power was correlated to corruption, and Merlin couldn’t even be considered a sorcerer for all he could do. Perhaps, the prince thought, he kept it a secret because it was so inconsequential it didn’t matter and there was no point stressing Camelot with it. Goodness knows, his father would’ve executed him on sight. This made sense to the prince.

After all, why would the world’s most powerful sorcerer risk being a servant in Camelot?

……..

“So, you saw Arthur running out of the castle?” The knight was standing by the stables, answering Gideon’s questions about today’s earlier events.

Lance didn’t mind. “Yes, he was looking for Merlin. That’s not unusual. You guys were just stalking him yesterday, weren’t you?”

The prince had been calling out for the boy when he came upon Lancelot. He inquired where Merlin was. Lance told him that he was out picking flowers, and if the prince saw him wince when he realized he should’ve lied, he didn’t comment.

“Oh, really? Gaius said he was at the tavern again.” There was a reason Arthur called them the infiltrators.

Lance rubbed the back of his neck, “Don’t be too angry at him, Arthur.”

The prince nodded tritely before running out to the meadow where he saw Merlin growing flowers the other day. He had an inkling he’d find him there. Unbeknownst to the knight, Arthur intended to be very angry with him. After the initial pain, Arthur had dealt with it the only way he could; he had bottled up his feelings, and let them simmer over last night. This morning was painfully quiet before he dismissed Merlin for the day. He hadn’t been ready to confront him just yet.

Now, he was.

“Merlin!” He was exactly where he was the day previous, surrounded by flowers. The prince was just mustering up the courage to find the right words-

Merlin turned around, a bunch of flowers in hand. This time it was white lilacs and tiny red flowers he didn’t know the name of. Whatever anger he had fizzled away, swallowed up by a throbbing hole in his gut telling him that the flowers were for his lady love.

“Merlin.” The boy was confused. Arthur had angrily dismissed him earlier that day, and Merlin figured he was having one of his moods. On the off chance he needed him, he had told Gaius to cover for him until he came back, and he had never thought in a million years that Arthur would go into a flowery meadow of his own accord to- to what? Follow him? Had he followed him?

“Arthur...?” The prince sighs. There goes the big confrontation. He didn’t know what bothered him more- the flowers for Morgana or the lying.

“Are you devoted to me?” The words just came to him.

Merlin blushed. It was immediate, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that Arthur was asking with a different connotation. He knew he wasn’t though, there was just no chance. Lance would’ve commented that they were so obvious.

“Of course, what’s brought this on?” Merlin prayed his face wasn’t as red as the flowers he was holding. The prince didn’t take notice of this, he was focused on finding the right words. For some reason, he was terrible at communicating his feelings without great effort. Perhaps something to do with his stunted emotional upbringing, or, you know, a misplaced notion of manliness. Because real men don’t have feelings.

Obviously.

“Are you- are you loyal to the crown?” He swallowed. This was an obvious question, if Merlin had committed treason in good will he would know that Arthur suspected him. The prince prepared himself for his reaction, thinking that maybe he would be outraged or at the very least pretend to be.

But Merlin was not aware that Arthur knew of his magic, for he assumed that whenever _that_ happened it would have an explosive effect. As did the majority of Camelot. He genuinely had no clue what he was going on about, but it was a simple question. Was he?

Merlin hesitated, looking down at the flowers in his hands. After a beat,

“I’m loyal to the one that’s on your thick head.” He smiled goofily. There was a simple answer.

Arthur blushed, but he wouldn’t admit it unless you held a knife to his throat. Sir Gwaine would comment that this would’ve been the perfect time for Lance to sneak up behind them and push them together.

Too many thoughts were swimming around in his ‘thick head’. Merlin was a sorcerer, yes, but there was no way he could be evil. There was never a time he gave Arthur a reason to doubt him. He had saved his life on several occasions, maybe more than he knew of, with his magic. The prince, at least, had the insight to gander at that. He had saved his life more times than he knew of, more times than he could count.

He knew, couldn’t doubt, that Merlin was loyal to him. As a prince, maybe less so, but as a friend- there could be no question. Merlin had lied for his own safety, and Arthur honestly appreciated that the boy could show some self-preservation skills. The prince did not have the insight to consider that Merlin had lied for Arthur’s well being. It was far too telling to admit that one’s happiness took prevalence over one’s well being.

“These are for you.” Merlin pushed the flowers towards him. Arthur stared at the flowers, his brain hurting.

Well, that was that then. If anyone dared hurt him, even his father (especially his father), Arthur knew he would hunt them down and _extinguish_ them. One would think that now, with his face cooling down, hands twisted around sweet-smelling flowers, he would’ve registered that he loved him.

He did not. For some reason it was easy to rationalize that there was nothing he wouldn’t do, wouldn’t sacrifice to be with him, but that little neuron that was supposed to crawl over and connect to the part of his brain that said- why, have you considered that you love him?- did not.

He often dreamed of running away to live on a farm, just the two of them. Now that he knew Merlin had magic, it would actually be a lot easier, actually. He could help grow the crops with it, couldn’t he? He found himself reliving this daydream.

“They’re white lilacs and red mask flowers. They’ll help you sleep better. I figure you’re not a flowers man, but-”

“Put them in my room.”

“Really?”

“Just do it before I change my mind.”

One could guess that this was a farce, as the prince would surely fight anyone who dared take the flowers away from him now. Merlin was, of course, bull shitting. The flowers did smell nice, but he had actually enchanted them to aid with sleep and healing of aches and pains. He chose the red mask flowers because he knew it was Arthur’s favourite colour.

Arthur, who was still living somewhere in the realm of fantasy where Merlin wore farmer’s clothes, still with that red neckerchief; bent down over the budding carrots (did carrots bud? Arthur had no clue) with a little dirt on his face and sweat falling from his hairline down to rest on his lip where it fell off his face-

He was occupied, you see. He did not have the time to think that this was love.


	7. I Have Lovey Dovey Bitch Syndrome And It's Incurable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow family get togethers are always fun when your parents are homophobic. thank god I have I have merthur fanfiction to keep me going. seriously, the show ended in 2012... here we are in 2020 and there is so much new shit being written. i love each and every one of yas

Life in Camelot was simpler then. Flowers turned up in every crack in the road, as spring settled into the misty eyes of the romanticized. Maidens swooned at every tournament, whose bosoms were appreciated by lords and ladies alike. The citizens underwent their heteronormative mating dances, and none were the wiser of any impending doom. The mirth was palpable. Few dared ask why some ladies were missing from the atmosphere, choosing instead to spend their late evenings walking together in the gardens and definitely not sword fighting.

“It’s entirely unfair that Guinevere isn’t a knight when she can fight better than her brother, _a knight_.”

The fine Lady Morgana, who was wearing a cloth deemed no less revealing than a nightgown, was breathing hard as sweat fell onto her lip. Gideon was having a stroke.

His wrist trembled as he wrote. He considered how illegal it was to fantasize about the king’s ward. It was tempting, and his young, hormone crippled mind didn’t know much more but the slender wrist that confidently grasped the sword. Lady Morgana always seemed to have a sharp object in her hands.

A few feet away was a grinning Guinevere, who had just bested her lady in a duel. The setting sun was golden, and it shone a honey red onto her features. Her hair was up, but several curls were wild and loose around her face. Any self-respecting, women-inclined individual would cream their pants at the sight.

“My lady, I am honoured, but please do not terrify the poor boy. It’s not his fault that the world revolves around…,” she looked off into the sun, blowing a hair out of her face. Her lips curled in distaste, “…men.”

Lady Morgana scoffed, twirling her sword around in an artistic display of both aptitude and attitude. It was a trick that the Pendragons were fond of. She knew now that she was Uther’s daughter, as secrets were slippery things, but had only told those close to her. Gideon had sneaked himself into that umbrella by default.

“Arthur better be a good ass king.” She meant it. She now knew she had a right to the throne, though only in theory, as Arthur was the ‘once and future king’ and all that. This didn’t stop her from thinking of what she would do as Queen, certain laws she would adjust. There was so much more to fix than just the magic.

The maidservant raised her sword, and an eyebrow, “He will be.”

They had no doubt in their Lord Pratdragon’s growth as an individual. He was awfully nice these days.

……..

“Arthur’s been a real prat these days. I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but ever since I gave him flowers, he’s been more… aggressive than usual. I’ve been running around the castle because he can’t seem to make up his mind. ‘Merlin, go’, ‘Merlin, stay’, ‘Merlin, why do you look so stupid, floundering about like a lame fawn!’”

His face was pulled up into a mocking smile, his eyebrows curled up from bright eyes. It was difficult to gauge if he was upset, because, despite his words patterned after a complaint, his face betrayed him. Wrinkles by his eyes, mouth twitching- Gideon would think he was holding back a laugh.

“You don’t seem upset about it.”

The two were in Gaius’ quarters, sometime in the evening. They were counting down the minutes before Prince Arthur no doubt came personally to demand Merlin’s presence.

He gave up a laugh that could’ve passed for an aborted sneeze. He came to the same conclusion, that Arthur was going to find him soon enough.

“It’s so- I can’t tell if he’s enchanted or in love or just gone crazy. Sometimes he just stares at the wall, glaring.” Gideon put his quill down and stared at him.

“In love, you say?” Merlin’s features crinkled, systematically becoming stiff.

Gideon knew that Merlin didn’t know that Arthur knew of his magic, but also that Arthur knew that Merlin didn’t know that Arthur knew. The young boy had not spoken of the ordeal in the meadows with Merlin because he didn’t think it was his place to do so. Camelot was a dangerous place with Uther still on the throne, and it was better for them all to keep it quiet, even from each other.

“Well, I just mean- it’s a- it’s a figure of speech.” Merlin prayed Gideon couldn’t read him. The chair squeaked beneath him as he shifted about.

Occasionally he reminisced on the True Love’s kiss that he had used to save the prince (and for no other reason). It was a nightmare for him, a silly kind of torture he did to himself. Arthur would never think of him that way, and he knew that- was convinced of it. He still thought about it every time someone put Arthur and the word love in the same sentence. It was hard to believe that this absolute cabbage head, who’s brain went _404 error: no thoughts found_ when considering his true feelings, was the great Emrys (this can be read as a direct quote from Gaius, had the old physician known of the internet).

Gideon stared, unblinking, at the man known as the most powerful sorcerer to walk the Earth. One would think he could at least magic up some eyes.

“But you love him.”

Merlin closed his eyes, and instead of responding, let his head fall down with a loud bang onto the table.

……..

Uther Pendragon passed away last night.

Gideon didn’t have much to write about him, but he felt heavy with a misplaced duty to uphold the late king to some respect. No one smiled when he came by.

Early, as in well within the indecent hours one could not qualify as the morning, Gideon had been roaming around looking for some food, for he was a growing boy and never stopped fucking eating. He had no business staying overnight at the castle, and yet here he was. His mother had her own quarters in the castle, a small room, for she was expected to work day and night on certain occasions as an imperative role in the kitchens. She let him sleep there these days after a significant amount of begging; somehow convinced her of the importance of note-taking without divulging what notes he had already taken. He could not even tell her, not yet.

It was at this time, stumbling around sleepily far away from the kitchens (he would say he was lost, for a boy of his age and status had no business to purposefully be sneaking around, obviously) when he saw Merlin. He was asleep, hunched over on the ground in front of two large doors (to the throne room, but in Gideon’s state he did not realize).

His hair was a right mess, and if he would’ve wakened, one could see the puffy eyes and chewed lips on the poor, devastated boy. Merlin was stupid with his sense of responsibility, in a similar fashion to the new king. Perhaps this strengthened their bond, though considering Arthur knew nothing of the loyalty and sacrifice Merlin held in his heart- though he guessed- it was likely a facet of their relationship not yet discovered. They were more alike than either thought.

Merlin, in his mind, could not shake the guilt and failure of current events. He had had the opportunity to prove to Arthur that magic could be used for good, and then he killed his father. He was not excited to have Arthur reassure him that it was not his fault that the doddery old sorcerer was nothing good, when in fact it was entirely his fault.

Where we were? Yes, Gideon stumbled upon a ruffled, sleeping Merlin, with the grace of a drunk heron, huddled in front of some big ass doors. Gideon did not know where he was, if he were to be threatened to admit it, but he was right pleased that he found the center of action. For some reason, call it faith or logic- He knew the new King Arthur would be behind those doors.

And so, Gideon took out his rolled-up parchments and ink and began to describe the scene. A boy his age did not need sleep so much, and he found no great difficulty in waiting. For despite his droopy eyes, and his aching stomach, Merlin would eventually wake up and that was enough excitement for him.

A few hours later, as the sun crept in through windows and peered under the doors, Merlin finally awoke and unfolded. He wiped his face on his sleeve and stood at attention. Gideon would note he looked like microwaved shit, if he knew what a microwave was.

Arthur was the one to open the doors, shortly after Merlin himself arose. “Merlin?”

Gideon noted Arthur seems a bit surprised, though he didn’t understand why. Arthur evaluated Merlin’s appearance and considered that he looked genuinely fucked up. He sighed and looked towards the window, at the sun slowly rising.

“It is a new day.” Gideon tries to stop the yawn that comes, hoping neither will pay attention to his presence. He needn’t bother, because at this time a bomb could’ve gone off and they would have only had eyes for each other.

“You been here all night?” Merlin didn’t know what to say, for he could not find the words to apologize and nor would it be appropriate or accepted in the slightest.

“I didn’t want you to feel that you were alone.” Merlin did not understand himself fully, but he knew his presence here, near Arthur during his time of need, was not one of guilt. He would not wait vigilantly to look him in the eyes and apologize. Merlin could’ve been run through and it wouldn’t matter, it was his duty, from some self-imposed notion of responsibility (which in layman’s terms would be called love) to be at Arthur’s side (his canonical True Love) through it all. He nodded at this, though it might have been just the sway of his wrecked composure.

Arthur seemed to swallow, and then something in his eyes changed. Gideon leaned forward, unable to guess what the king what would say to such a blatant display of compassion.

“You’re a loyal friend, Merlin.” Gideon stifled a sigh, disappointed. If the king had just come to realize this, it would indeed be a long journey to admit his feelings. He didn’t know of the pressing, growing, agonizing weight on the king’s shoulders now that he held Camelot in his palms.

“You must be hungry?”

“Starving.” Indeed, so was Gideon who had not succeeded in finding a midnight snack.

……..

King Arthur had dragged Gideon into his chambers, with a sense of desperation the boy didn’t expect. Newly crowned, he was a jumble of nerves and surely had much to say, but Gideon did not expect him to open up so soon after his father’s death.

Gideon had prepared his ink, wrist muscles engaged, waiting on his word. Arthur sat down, stared thoughtfully at every object in the room, glanced at the doors every two seconds, and then took another 20 minutes to sit still in silence.

Gideon did not know if it was disrespectful to break the silence. Only after his legs started buzzing with a lack of blood flow and his wrist stiffen from the static hold, did he dare.

“Sire?”

Arthur nervously glanced at his doors, which were definitely still locked.

“…It has come to my attention…” Gideon slowly started to write, but Arthur had trouble finding his words. His brain had managed to dislodge whatever screw he had loose, and now the thoughts were coming in miles a minute.

“…that, um…Merlin,” his eyes widened, gaze on the wooden patterns on his desk. He appeared to see through it.

“… is a good man.” Arthur choked the last few words, covering his mouth with his fist. Gideon could not tell if Arthur was actually choking, or perhaps laughing or crying?

He could also not believe that behind the King façade was still that of a stupid boy who would not or could not communicate his feelings. This was a hereditary trait but Gideon had no way of knowing. He was not familiar with Uther Pendragon other than the occasional (read: never ending) comments by the Lady Morgana of his failures at parenting and taking responsibility. Gideon always sweated when he wrote those down, afraid he would be executed.

Recently it had become common knowledge to the inner circle here in Camelot that Morgana was Uther’s daughter. Gideon felt a bit better about her shit talking him given the circumstances.

“… and I wish…” Apparently Arthur was still talking. Gideon had long finished writing his last uttered words and had gone off into a daydream where the Lady (Princess?) Morgana threatened him with a sharp manicured nail on his neck, caressing _dangerously_ close to his clavicle-

“…that he would never change.” Arthur was sweating behind the ears. He couldn’t believe he had said such a thing about his _idiot_ servant. His absolute buffoon of a servant, with ridiculous ears, less grace than a cow- that clumsy fucker- who grew flowers with his _illegal_ magic, who never shut up, who was always there, who had spent the night by his side; for no reward, with no comfort, just to ease him. Even now, the thought of Merlin laughing at him left him with a buzz in his ears.

Gideon was not a disaster gay and so he was unable to translate the closeted folk speak for _FUCK I’m **hella** gay for him._ He merely scrunched his nose, as he could not believe Arthur still couldn’t come to terms with his own feelings.

Arthur could not believe he had (Perhaps?) come to terms with his own feelings.

……..

“I caught Merlin and Arthur in the middle of the night, in a dark empty corridor.” Sir Gwaine was leaning in to listen to Sir Leon’s recounting. He was waiting, with bated breath, for the moment Leon would tell them that- yes, he caught the two in an embrace.

“Well, were they kissing or not?!” The two knights were sitting on the grass out near the training area. Gideon felt his head burn up from the strength of the sun, but he, too, was too enthralled to pay attention to his bodily needs. It was a little-known fact that heat stroke hadn’t been invented yet.

“No,” Sir Leon shook his head. The two hadn’t looked more or less ruffled than they usually do. No arms around each other, no swollen lips and flushed ears. But something about the scene stuck with him.

“What were they doing?” Gideon placed his hands on the ground, staring at Leon. His parchment was discarded, on the grass beside him.

“Poetry.” Sir Gwaine rolled his eyes, his body swinging in the movement. He would have rolled over in an early grave if he had to hear more of this shit. Poetry?!

“Poetry?! Leon- you think the two of them got up in the middle of the night, hid in a dark corridor, and recited poetry? You believe that?” Sir Leon did not. No, in fact, he believed that the king was diddling his manservant. He glanced towards the young boy; sweat poured down his neck.

He slowly shook his head, mouth parting and then closing.

“They _are_ fucking!” Gwaine sighed and fell backwards onto the grass.

……..

The king had not yet told his manservant that he knew of his magic. He was still waiting for the fool to come forward himself. He had assumed, correctly, that it didn’t help that magic was still illegal. So, he had started working on the paperwork for that. It was difficult to do behind Merlin’s back; he wasn’t used to keeping such a secret from him. Hours of his time, unaccounted for; for many weeks it would be this way. It was also a way to get back at him for keeping his own secrets from Arthur. Let it be a lesson, then.

Of course, there was another secret he was keeping from him, one that was harder still to hide. He was bloody in love with him. But of course, he was, because his life could not get any easier.

“I don’t know what you’re hiding from me, but don’t think I don’t know that you are.” The idiot himself, in all his glory, was scrubbing the floors from across his chambers. He looked suspiciously upon the king, but his hands still moved underneath him. He jerked too fast, and the slick wet rag slipped underneath him, causing him to lurch forward. Arthur sucked in a breath, clenched his eyes shut, flinching. It was very difficult to hide when he kept doing things that were so _him_ and so _stupid_ and all he wanted to do was put a sign on his back that read _property of Arthur Pendragon_.

I mean he was, technically.

Merlin was oblivious to the king’s internal struggle, focused instead on regaining his balance. It was a fleeting moment in time, and although it was embarrassing, it was commonplace.

“You know you can tell me anything.” The words were out before he could think about it. He winced, realizing how hypocritical he was. He only wished he could tell Arthur everything, but destiny was fickle in her ways. The poor boy was so deep in his lies that some days he felt a double life. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to share everything with the king- for he really did yearn for it- he just couldn’t sacrifice what they already had.

The dilemma of the friendzone. Because, really, Merlin couldn’t admit to every lie and every sacrifice without admitting he felt more. Truth be told, if all his actions as a magic user for Arthur had to be spelled out- there would be no need for confession, for it would be _so_ obvious. It’s just better we don’t talk about it.

“So, you admit your feelings are romantic.”

Gideon stood, arms crossed, in the stables, where Merlin was working. He wiped his forehead with his shirt, exposing his midsection. Luckily the king wasn’t here to have an aneurysm.

“…I suppose.”

The king had gone on to insult Merlin’s capacity to be good at anything (maybe he’d be useful as a coat rack) and he had continued scrubbing the floors until they fell back into their timeless rhythm. Another season had come and gone. Meaningless, or if you looked closely enough, very intentional touches and glances where shared again and again. A grasp a little too tight, a look a little too long, and no one had seemed to notice.

Except everyone had noticed, and everyone knew. It had to end at some point. The pool of money grew larger still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that about as much of mourning arthur you gon see. i don't want sadness in this story, just ANGST.


	8. Even if I DID have... I'm not saying I am, 'cause I don't...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there was considerations ... after a long ass time of none considerations... he considered... ft. angst cause I decided Leon was going to be That Bitch

The sunrise this morning was no less radiant than something not very radiant because it was fucking cloudy. The people of Camelot felt the unexpected haze of what should have been a warm spring day, but sometimes the weather was just like that. It’d fuck you over, ruin perfect picnic days and cast a gloom of unease on the easily anxious.

Merlin did not consider himself easily anxious, because surely if he was, he would’ve died from the stress of being a hidden sorcerer in Camelot. Given that was not the case, he felt as if he had the proof to claim himself otherwise. Some days he even liked the rain, despite the wet socks and muddy floors that he would have to clean after his Royal Assness tracked dirty footprints in because he was too delicate to bend over and take off his bloody shoes-! Definitely not because he (see above: Royal Assness) appreciated the few excuses he had for Merlin to kneel in front of him.

This day was unlike rainy days before it, for Merlin had been thinking for weeks now that Arthur was keeping something from him, and this morning the king was being polite.

“Thank you, Merlin. Please let Sir Leon know that I have an announcement to make to the council at noon and I expect the knights to be there.”

Merlin froze halfway through taking a strawberry from the breakfast tray. He didn’t recognize the tone of voice Arthur was using, and it disarmed him. He didn’t think to yell at him about why he hadn’t told Merlin that he had an announcement to make on short notice- or what the announcement was. He hated this ‘keeping secrets’ business, and if it weren’t for his magic double life he led, and few hundred secrets he kept from Arthur, one of which being he was in love with the king (no big deal), he would’ve voiced his upset. He did attempt at times to not be a hypocrite.

“That will be all this morning, thank you.”

Arthur wasn’t even looking at him.

……..

“Sire?” King Arthur was sitting on his throne. He was not smiling.

His crown dwarfed his head, and Merlin thought he looked rather ridiculous with it on. It was a family heirloom and obviously could not be replaced, but perhaps one day if magic was made legal (because surely this prophecy the druids and the dragon bugged him about was worth two cents) he could fix it up just a bit.

“My lords, fellow knights, gentlemen,” Gaius, the knights of the round table, and members of the court were gathered in the throne room. Merlin was there too, obviously, for the king never went anywhere without him (why would he?). After his irrational politeness this morning, Merlin had had a nagging worry that Arthur was going to do something self-sacrificing and stupid (as he did, often).

Arthur had been very busy these past couple months as king. He had been working to change laws, one by one, until he could seamlessly repeal the ban on magic (or so he dreamt). Surprisingly, it was difficult to change the notions of hatred and discrimination that had been in place for years. Who would’ve thought?

During this trying time, he had been trying hard not to think of the threat that was the empty throne beside him. For as one could have guessed, the young king was besotted with his manservant, and he could not think of marrying a male (he’d have no blood heir) servant (definitely has to be a noble) so he didn’t think of it at all.

“As you are all aware, Camelot's claim to the lands of Gedref has long been in dispute. Today I can announce that, after many months of confidential negotiations, the kingdoms of Nemeth and Camelot have reached an agreement.”

Merlin frowned, many months? So, this was something that his father had initiated. Why had he kept it a secret for so long?

“There's nothing to fear. It is a fair and honourable agreement that benefits two great kingdoms. Furthermore, our friendship will be cemented by a union that cannot be broken,” Though the room could not tell, the king had started clenching his perineal wall (that’s French for his ass hole, sweetie) to keep his voice from shaking. He refused to look at his manservant.

Gaius had come to the conclusion that Arthur was purposefully avoiding looking at Merlin, which frankly, disturbed him. The lot of them had had non-stop goo-goo eyes for the past- oh I don’t know, since they met! The older man’s eyebrows furrowed, mirroring his apprentice beside him.

“My hand in marriage to Her Royal Highness, Princess Mithian.”

Merlin’s jaw dropped. The room was muttering about.

“Smile,” Gaius nudged him. Merlin shook his head.

How could the young warlock? He had deluded himself into thinking that he had more time to play pretend. He knew one day Arthur would fall in love with a maiden and marry her- had expected it- but he was not prepared for a loveless marriage of convenience. He didn’t know if that made it better.

One could tell, if they had privy to his thoughts, that he was torn between being jealous beyond belief and relieved that he would not have to watch Arthur be besotted- with someone else, mind you, though he did not know that. There was also a sick twist in his gut that was devasted, but on Arthur’s behalf, for he and most of Camelot had thought the young king would marry for love.

He deserved it.

But now was not the time to think of such things.

“He can’t mean that.” Merlin's voice barely a whisper, one could almost suggest that he had not meant to say it aloud.

“And clap. Smile and clap.” Gaius had the sense to know this was a difficult moment for his boy. He also had the sense to know that the members of the court were watching, and had enough reason to believe the two were in love. They were, but that was beside the point.

The king had finally mustered the nerve to turn his superficial grin (Gwaine rather thought he looked like a- as scholars shall note- dumbass) to his manservant.

Merlin put on a smile and clapped. For Arthur’s sake, he thought.

The crown felt heavy on Arthur’s head.

……..

Sir Leon, as it turns out, was the one to confront him first.

Sir Percival and Sir Elyan would not question King Arthur’s decision. They felt the unspoken loss, but passing glances between themselves, they had agreed they were not the right ones to call out the king for being an idiot. Sir Gwaine had no problem doing so, and had to be held back by the two. He was far too outspoken to deal with such a sensitive subject matter. Sir Lancelot was too noble, he would take one look at Arthur’s knightly stature and would sympathize with him.

Sir Leon was outraged in a manner that the other knights could not understand.

Leon had been Arthur’s friend from childhood, had watched the boy grow into a king that he would lay his life for (and had several times). He knew the coldness, the loneliness he faced growing up without a mother- and without a loving father. As a prince, he could not make friends, and those he referred to as much often saw Arthur as nothing more than a walking crown. Leon did not live in a fantasy land; he was not one to believe in true love or fairy tales or happily ever after.

But surely one man could not have a life _that_ bereft of love.

The king deserved so much more. Leon had not questioned him on any other matter. He didn’t have to.

“Arthur.” The knight stopped him in the hallway, some time after the announcement.

The king froze. He had been in his own storm cloud of thoughts, and had been shook by the knight's use of his name. Leon was a brother to him; he was not required to call on him appropriately when it was just the two of them. But he didn’t. It was Leon’s way of telling him how proud he was, how much he respected the king as a man.

Before Arthur could say anything, Leon spoke. “How come I didn’t know about this? Why didn’t you say anything?”

A retort died on his lips. This was not Merlin, who he could banter away any weight to his words.

“It was confidential.”

The two of them knew what a hot load of shit that was. Sir Leon and King Arthur did not keep things from each other. Arthur was the one who came to him weeks ago at the bottom of a bottle of wine furious that he had gone and fallen in love with the one person in Camelot he could not have, could not lose.

“You can’t do this.” Arthur was at a loss of words. Leon was talking back to him? What next- Merlin would be polite?

“Leon, I cannot believe I have to remind you, but I am King. I can marry whoever I chose.” Leon bit back a laugh, wondering if Arthur had caught the irony.

“Then why don’t you?” The knight met his eyes, unwavering. The king felt a pang, understanding his words had bitten him in the ass.

“Don’t. You know I need your support.” He whispered, voice almost getting raspy as he struggled to hold onto his composure. He would not cry, not now.

“I thought I knew you, Arthur. I thought I knew you weren’t a coward. Would’ve bet my life on it.”

Leon shook his head and walked away. Arthur was stunned.

……..

“He what?!” Gideon was not at the announcement. He had to hear it from Merlin.

“He’s engaged to a princess from Nemeth- who he’s never met before!”

The two of them were standing across from Gaius’ seated form in his quarters. Merlin followed him, not yet mentally prepared to face Arthur.

Gideon frowned, lips twisting about contemplatively. “I don’t understand- why is he marrying someone he doesn’t love?”

Gideon was young, and foolish, and didn’t understand the weight of reigning. He full-heartedly believed in happily ever afters and thought for sure that a good king like Arthur would have one.

Merlin was not so disillusioned with the world, but he agreed with Gideon. If ever there was someone who deserved a happily ever after, Arthur would be it.

“Because he’s an idiot. He wants to spend the rest of his life with someone who won’t ever see him for who he is- won’t love him for how stupid he is- because he wants to make his father happy?! Because he’s afraid of having someone who will actually love him-”

“-Merlin.” Gaius interrupted. He was piercing him with an intense look, one that made others feel placating.

“In the same way that you have a duty to Arthur, Arthur has a duty to Camelot. If you had to give up love to be by Arthur’s side- which, I suppose doesn’t work for this metaphor, given,” Gaius looked away and gestured with his hands, muttering to himself, “-it’s Arthur, but anyways, you _would_.”

He looked back at him and placed a hand on his arm.

“Arthur would do that for Camelot. And besides, I do believe he has someone to spend the rest of his life with- who will see him for who he is.”

Gaius’ eyebrow raises, “someone who loves him.”

Merlin huffs out a breath, his anger on pause. He nods, and then makes his way to the door.

Gaius’ eyebrow follows him, and he yells after him, “romantically-!”

The door was on its way to close, “I got that!” 

Gideon stared wide-eyed at Gaius. The man only smirked knowingly.

……..

Merlin confronted him next.

“ _King_ Arthur.”

Surely, the sun had risen on the wrong side of the sky today. Since when did Merlin refer to him in such a way? As if he ever cared that Arthur was king.

“Merlin, are you feeling alright?” The king was seated at his desk, reading over the details of Princess Mithian’s arrival. He raised an eyebrow.

“You can’t do this.”

“I’m pretty sure I can, considering- oh, yes- I’m the king.” Arthur felt that if he kept up the usual back and forth, he could pretend that everything was fine. The more he shoved his feelings down, the easier it was to pretend they didn’t exist. But you see, Merlin had this knack of getting the king riled up.

“I know you don’t have to listen to me-”

“Glad we finally agree on something.”

“-But don’t you think this is too fast? You haven’t even met the princess yet, what if you hate her?”

Merlin didn’t know why he was so determined to argue about this. Well, he did know why, but he couldn’t tell you. He hadn’t a plan for what he wanted to achieve but he figured if he focused on getting one word in after the other, he would get somewhere satisfactory.

“I doubt I will. Princess Mithian is regarded as a lovely character of unrivalled grace and beauty.” It was true, a small painting of questionable accuracy was sent to Arthur during the arrangements. She was educated, had her hands in every court matter, and enjoyed hunting. The two had sent letters and Arthur knew what kind of character she was. There was a chance that she had faked it all and would arrive in Camelot as some sort of troll, but ultimately, if it came down to it, Arthur would still marry her.

He was not marrying the princess because of how pretty or intelligent she was.

“What if she comes and she’s horrible? Yells at the members of the court and is so ugly that-”

“I highly doubt a princess born and raised would ever yell at the members of the court unwarranted, nor does it matter how ugly she is. I’m still marrying her.” Arthur set down his papers and stood up.

“What if one day you fall in love with one of the many ladies you could’ve married? You won’t be able to take back your vows.” Merlin’s hands clenched at his sides.

“Yes, I’m well aware, Merlin.”

God, did the prat actually not care that he would spend the rest of his days next to a stranger? Of course, they’d get to know one another and maybe even connect but why- why was he rushing the proposal? Engaged to someone he had never seen?

Earlier, Merlin was heartbroken that he would lose Arthur. Now, he had accepted it. Moved on. Now, he was heartbroken because Arthur wouldn’t allow himself this kindness.

“You- you told me you wanted to marry for love!” He was shaking. He couldn’t help it.

Arthur walked towards him. He had so desperately wanted someone to give him the strength to do this, and here was Merlin sticking his finger in the stab wound and squirming about.

“As king, I have a duty to Camelot that cannot be ignored.”

“And I have a duty to you, dollophead! I won’t let you do this to yourself.”

“I’m not- what am I doing to myself? I’m securing myself a future. I’m securing Camelot’s future.”

“Then why can’t you wait another month? Give yourself time to fall in love with the princess! If you’re so certain of your future.”

“Merlin, it’s not about that. I don’t have the luxury to sit around playing house. This isn’t about love, it’s about the kingdom.” Arthur had started raising his voice.

“The bloody kingdom will be fine! You could secure the agreement in a different way! What if she never loves you- er- genuinely?” Merlin couldn’t bare a future in which Arthur wasn’t cherished- even if it wasn’t him. He would much rather suffer a stomach ulcer of jealousy seeing a besotted king and queen than know Arthur was condemning himself to a lonely future- more of the same half assed family (no offense Morgana, babe).

“It would be better that way-okay? End of discussion, Merlin!” He jabbed Merlin’s chest with his finger as said his name. It would be better that way because Arthur could never love her back. At least, he didn’t think so. It seemed surreal to think he could with Merlin there every day, every moment, getting in the way.

“Is this about your father? You think this is some sort of last wish of his you have to fulfill? And _better that way_?!” What the bloody fuck was the idiot going on about-? _~~better that way?!~~_

“This has nothing to do with my father’s wishes- and yes, _Mer_ lin it _would_ be better that way!” How dare he bring his father into this? Not everything was about Arthur’s daddy issues! For fuck’s sake.

“You stupid, idiotic, braindead-”, Arthur rolled his eyes, “prat. Have you considered that you deserve to be loved?!”

One would note, as Gideon already had, that Arthur loved that Merlin insulted him like he was some bottom of the barrel nobody. Every time it was as if Merlin was telling him that he was just Arthur, and that that was enough. Forgive him if he lost his mind (it was his kink).

“Have _you_ considered-?!” The finger Arthur was jabbing Merlin with jerked forward another inch, and grabbed a fistful of his tunic.

His sentence cut off (or one could say was concluded by) his mouth rudely slamming into the other boy’s.

Gideon would later write that Merlin had definitely (definitely) not kissed back. The king would tell Gideon that Merlin must have dreamt the whole thing because it definitely (questionably) did not happen. Of course, everyone knows royalty can’t lie.

Arthur’s hand on the boy’s tunic did not release, in fact he brought his other hand to join it in holding Merlin to him. At another time, one could consider the dubiousness of consent the king had and how uncouth it was that he had physically restrained his servant to assault him.

At another time.

Merlin’s train of thought had crashed, derailed, and sailed off a cliff (insert sound effects). He could not even think of the words to describe what was happening. For as one could guess, he was otherwise occupied.

The servant boy’s hands moved on their own accord (because he certainly did not _decide_ to touch Arthur on purpose- goodness no, why would he do that?) to grab onto his shoulders.

Surprisingly, there was one brain cell rattling around in the king’s head. He pulled away, his hands releasing their grip to rest flat on the other man’s chest. Now, he had royally fucked up (and he meant royally). He knew Merlin was about to push him away and yell at him and hate him forever.

Merlin held his gaze for but a moment before pulling Arthur closer with his hands. There were simply no thoughts his head, none. This bitch empty.

Just as quickly as they had separated, they were pushed together again. You see, back in the day, there were few reasons people would step out of their league. Perhaps it had been the manservant who had leaned in, his grip on the king coercing him (treasonously) into more. Perhaps it was the king preying on a helpless servant who was afraid to go against him.

Arthur’s hands trailed up to hold onto Merlin’s face. It was a small security to prove that he wasn’t dreaming. No one had yet mentioned the previous kiss to the king, and how it had been real and necessary to rid him of an enchantment. Perhaps he was enchanted now.

Perhaps, one would dare think, that it was just love (t.t).

“I’m going to be honest with you, I hadn’t considered that.”

They both drew apart, slightly at first, and then all at once. Arthur’s hands awkwardly brushed himself off, as he looked away, anywhere but at him. Merlin was staring at the bedpost, staring at nothing really, his eyes unblinking. His brain had been factory reset.

“I think this would be a good time,” Arthur swallowed, “to have a moment to ourselves.”

“Yes. That would be- that would be best.” Merlin had now stuffed his hands into his armpits, and was trying to think if he had hit his head one too many times and just gone completely off the deep end and this was all an elaborate hallucination.

“Please,” the king gestured with his hand straight out towards the door.

“Oh yes, thank you sire.” Merlin quickly bowed before Arthur, for perhaps the first time in his life unironically and walked out the door.

Arthur waved at him diplomatically as he left, nodding to the guards posted outside, his smile tight as he closed the door.

As soon as it shut, he turned around and threw his back against it. The guards outside flinched at the sound. He slid down slowly until his ass cheeks were on the ground.

He didn’t need sleep anyways.

……..

The guard on the left in front of King Arthur’s chambers reached into his chainmail, pulled a small bag of coins from seemingly nowhere, and placed it into the guard on the right’s outstretched palm. It fell with an audible sing of the coins rattling together. No other exchange was observed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> saturday is my birthday please wish me luck as I travel back through the birth canal


	9. Go Fuck Yourself- No Wait, Let Me Do It.

The problem with the Princess Mithian was that there was no problem. One could easily come to the conclusion that she was a flawless candidate; a natural-born leader, with silky hair and tiny hands. She was spunky enough to be interesting and boring enough to be noble. She was born to be Queen; she just hadn’t decided of which nations yet. One could also notice her hand was on Arthur’s forearm.

Of course, Merlin did try his best to not notice or even acknowledge the existence of Arthur in general. This was difficult because it was also his job.

“She’s got her hand on his arm! Merlin, look!” It was also difficult to do with Sir Gwaine determined to get Merlin to acknowledge them.

“Yes, I can see that.” The two of them were in the corner of the banquet hall, choosing to spend the night together instead of respecting their appropriate posts. Really, what was Arthur going to do? Yell at him to get back to work? He’d have to talk to him to do that, and the last few days have established that it was a difficult task.

Sir Gwaine and the rest of the squad were not yet aware of any romantic actions that may or may not have occurred between the two parties. This had not stopped them from gathering together and assuming their positions. Arthur would not marry this princess, not if they had anything to say about it. The plan was to get Merlin so riled up that he would confess his feelings.

The plan was going excellently, obviously.

“Now that he knows she’s super hot and way smarter than him, do you think he’ll ask her to marry him properly? Romantic candlelight, flower petals strewn on the bed, getting down on one knee before she gets down on two, you know.” He nudged Merlin, as if he wasn’t paying attention.

“That’s none of my business.” Expect it really was, wasn’t it? He’d have to set it up and clean up after. That was his _job_.

“Would you have to prepare the room for that? Is Arthur that cruel?” Sometimes Gideon was ridiculously attentive and quick, but he was also young. People underestimated him. One couldn’t fault him for clarifying Merlin’s duties. If it was rubbing salt into the wound, well… you couldn’t prove anything.

“Shouldn’t you be doing- do you have a job?” The two turned to him.

“I don’t have a job. I’m _fourteen_. Mum makes good money in the kitchens and I just stay out of trouble.” Sir Gwaine raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you do a good job of that, do you?” He blushed. It wasn’t like he had been arrested yet.

“How do you come to the banquets if you’re not a servant yourself?” Merlin was gawking at him as he asked. It was the most emotion he had had on his face for days.

“Shouldn’t you be more concerned about yourself? The love of your life is over there getting courted.” Gideon pointed over his shoulder.

It had been a long day. “The love of- Gideon! He’s the king. It’s my job to serve him. I have no other claim to him,” he shook his head, “if she makes him happy, then I’m glad. This is the best outcome any of us could have asked for. They’re clearly meant for each other.”

Gideon, Sir Gwaine, and also a few guests who had overheard were staring at Merlin. Sir Elyan stood up from his chair and walked over. Merlin watched him, confused, before the knight slapped him on the back of the head.

“Hey- what-!” The two knights were shaking their heads.

“Someone had to do it. The love of your life is currently occupied.” Merlin rubbed at the back of his head.

“Oh, the lot of you-!” Merlin shook his head; he definitely couldn’t tell them about the kiss.

“Why are we hitting Merlin?” Gwen came over with the Lady Morgana beside her. Once upon a time, Camelot had been a place of structure, class segregation, and tradition, and now Morgana and her maid were doing shots together.

“Merlin thinks Arthur and the Princess Mithian are ‘meant for each other’,” Gwaine said the last few words with air quotations.

Morgana snorted, the whiskey she held in her hands sloshing around in the glass bottle. She stared at Merlin; eyes wide.

“Why are you stupid?” Of course, having had a bit of alcohol, she flushed once she realized how close she had gotten to the boy. He was stupid but he was also cute.

“My lady.” Gwen grabbed her around the waist, pulling her back. Morgana had a bit of a balance issue at the moment. She grabbed Gwen’s hand in her own and looked into her eyes.

“If I asked you to marry me…” Morgana started petting her hair. It was frizzy and the petting was actually tugging at her scalp uncomfortably, but she just smiled grimly.

“I’ll think about it.” She patted her upper arm. A few feet away, Sir Lancelot blanched with a fork full of chicken halfway into his mouth. That was a different story.

Gwaine threw his arm around Merlin and ruffled his hair. If his majesty was sneaking glances at him, then they should give him something to look at.

“Let’s get drunk and dance on tables!” He raised his glass. Morgana raised her bottle.

“Cheers!”

……..

Arthur hadn’t talked to Merlin in a week. He was embarrassed. He didn’t want to explain himself knowing he would ruin everything by being honest, and probably wouldn’t end up anywhere good lying either. If he couldn’t confront his problem with a pointy stick, he wasn’t going to at all, thank you very much. It’d be just as easy to do nothing and wait for Merlin to forget that anything had happened at all. Foolproof.

Except that it was not foolproof, and the two of them were, in fact, great fools.

“Why are you doing this.” It was a question, but Gideon was so deadpan that it didn’t merit the punctuation.

King Arthur was sitting at his desk, nursing a rather large goblet of some strong wine. It had been a difficult day. He rubbed his face, frustrated. Why was everyone making it harder for him to do the right thing?

“It’s my duty-”

“Bullshite!” Gwaine jumped up from where he had been sitting, bouncing, his back to Arthur. He pointed his finger at the king. Was that treason? Perhaps at one point, it had been.

“Gwaine, why-”

“Why have you done this to Merlin? Is it to get back at him for the magic thing? You’ve decided to torture him?”

Fortunately, Arthur did not understand Gwaine’s point of view. He didn’t think that the knight meant his current engagement was breaking his servant’s heart because he didn’t dare think of where said servant’s heart was aligned. That was in the pile of things to think about only after several more drinks. The king instead assumed Merlin had mentioned the fateful kiss that had ruined Arthur’s life.

“What? No! It was an accident!”

“What- how was it an accident?” Now, Gwaine was thrown.

“It happened before I knew what I was doing. I didn’t mean to kiss him.” Gideon and Sir Gwaine froze at the same time. Gideon had already known about the kiss but the previous time he had inquired with the king, he had denied its existence. Sir Gwaine’s face was spasming. He was supposed to be frowning, he thought.

He was beaming. “You- Princess, you finally did it!”

“What?!” Arthur was not happy. Arthur was far from it. Why was Gwaine happy?

“You kissed- are you not-? Together, I don’t-”

“No, we’re not together! I’m still engaged you-!” Now, Arthur was angry.

“Why are you still engaged if-”

“Merlin doesn’t- and it wouldn’t- it doesn’t matter.” Arthur sighed, defeated. He slouched forward onto the desk, contemplating banging his head onto it.

Gideon spoke up. “Not to confirm or deny what Merlin ‘doesn’t’, ah. Why doesn’t it matter?”

Arthur looked at him gloomily from over his wine. He was pouting, and his lower lip was pressed into the inside of the cold rim. When he spoke, the words were reverberated by the acoustics of the goblet.

“I’m still getting married to Princess Mithian.”

“But you don’t have to. Merlin-”

“It doesn’t matter what Merlin thinks. It doesn’t change anything.”

“Arthur,” Gwaine was glaring at him now, soberer than he had ever been since stepping foot in Camelot, “…if there was a chance Merlin felt the same-” Arthur was pretty sure he hadn’t admitted any feelings to Gwaine, and for good reason; his brow furrowed, “-why wouldn’t it change everything?”

Arthur blinked in surprise. Something sad and dark and blue twisted inside him. “Because… because he’s a servant.”

The knight recoiled. “I thought you didn’t care about that!”

“I don’t! But I can’t take advantage of him. He’s… he’s too important to me.” Gwaine rolled his eyes, huffing his shoulders.

“Arthur, you idiot. Do you honestly think you could take advantage of Merlin even if you wanted to?” He swung his hand out and grabbed the wine.

“Hey-!”

“No! No more wine for you. Sober up and come to your senses. In a few weeks, you’ll be getting married. Who’s it gonna be?” Arthur snarled as he stood up.

“Do I need to remind you that I’m king?”

“I don’t give a flying fuck, princess. I’m your friend before I’m your subject. No more alcohol.” This was disturbing, coming from Gwaine of all people.

It was unfair. Life was too painful at the moment to spend his evenings without the wine, and Gwaine should have been the first person to understand. No one understood. He was going to be married to a beautiful princess and here he was hung up on his servant. Mithian was excellent, she was darn near perfect. Arthur would be almost happy with her.

Except he wouldn’t be, because she wasn’t Merlin, and Arthur was a disaster. The king yawned before glaring at his knight again.

“Sleep it off. Pull yourself together. And talk to Merlin.” Gwaine drank the rest of the wine in a quick swig.

……..

“Gaius, I know about his magic.” The king was in the middle of discussing the upcoming magic repeal with Gaius. The man used to be a sorcerer and even though it had been years since he had last used magic (it hadn’t been) (it had been like 10 minutes) he still knew more than anyone else he could think of.

They were discussing magic users who had been in hiding in Camelot, though few they were, they would definitely struggle to come out with the law change. This had led to a few suggestive comments from Gaius, and Arthur realizing that he was talking about his manservant.

“You… you know he’s Emrys?”

“I- what? Emrys?” Arthur did not know, clearly. Luckily for him, his brain didn’t go fast enough to draw conclusions before Gaius spoke again.

“You did not know. Oh, dear. Yes, Merlin has magic but it’s a bit more complex than that.” Arthur slow blinked. Was the man not going to clarify?

“Can you…?”

“Yes, I suppose I should tell you.” Gaius’ game plan was to rip it off like a band-aid. Of course, he did not know what a band-aid was but he understood the notion all the same. The king already knew that Merlin had magic, it wasn’t like how much of it made it any less illegal. (A: _You there! What is that you have?_ B: _Oh, me? Just a bit of contraband._ A: _Contraband?!_ B: _Yes, but only a little bit._ A: _Oh, in that case.)_

“You see… sire,” Why was this difficult to say? It seemed so silly to admit to Merlin’s power as if it was a minor detail, and not monumental. Gaius felt as if no words could actually do justice in explanation of such a phenomenon. In any case, he didn’t want to be bothered with it. He’d start the fire and then let Merlin deal with it.

“…some say he is the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the Earth. Others describe him as magic incarnate.”

“He’s…” Arthur needed to sit down. For honestly, probably the first time in his life, his knees were giving out on him. But he wasn’t thinking about that right now, and no one had observed him so closely to know anyway (except for Merlin) (but he’s not here at the moment).

Gaius leapt up from his chair, to offer it to his highness. He guided him down, grabbing onto his forearms. Arthur offered no resistance.

“…magic...” The gears were still turning. One could forgive that it was taking a while.

“That’s what Emrys is, his title as a magic user of this realm… if honestly he could be considered a magic _user_ … I don’t actually know how it works…” Arthur held up a hand to interrupt.

“He’s the most powerful sorcerer in- in- ever?!” He couldn’t fathom it. It wasn’t that he didn’t see Merlin as larger than life or worthy of such a thing; it was that Merlin didn’t act at all like anyone else who had ever had remotely any power ever in the history of power.

He never asked for credit or comfort, he wanted no recognition for his outstanding loyalty, and this had been shocking but understandable while Merlin was just a servant. If he was shy or thought for some dumb reason he wasn’t worth it… Arthur wasn’t about to embarrass him by giving him what would only be a fraction of what he deserved to make the king feel better.

But-?! The most powerful- magic incarnate- whatever that’s supposed to mean- was not a joke! Merlin was not evil, that was old news. But- but- a servant? Why would someone with so much power be a servant? To a snotty prince that treated him like garbage and then a king with whom he had far too much homoerotic tension. One could already guess but Arthur was getting there.

“So- he’s- he’s basically a king in his own right.” Gaius nodded his head, a bit of a sway in the motion. He was still holding onto Arthur’s arms. Arthur was blinking fast and swallowing and maybe shaking a little.

“You could think of it that way. Though his duty is to serve you.” There was a small part of Gaius that did enjoy stirring the pot. Being at the center of the drama was entertaining at least.

“His duty is to…,” Arthur shook his head again, “…why would an all-powerful sorcerer serve me, serve any king?” Be under his rule, yes that made sense. Polish his boots? Ah, but even knowing this, Arthur would ask him again to kneel in front of him, make some glib comment about his general appearance, and then…

That was not the train of thought to be on, at the moment. Arthur flushed thinking back on the kiss(es). Merlin had the ability to flat iron him if he wanted, and he hadn’t. This was an entirely different perspective. If it wasn’t really an abuse of power, and Merlin was still mopping his floors- well. There was one explanation. There were others as well, but Arthur didn’t want to dwell on that.

If there was a small chance… it would change everything.

Arthur shot up from the chair, knocking Gaius off balance. He held onto him and righted him quickly, before making a run for it. Gaius rolled his eyes; the young king was such a drama queen.

“Sire?”

“It would change everything!” What is that idiot going on about now?

……..

“Merlin!” The castle inhabitants were accustomed to the king yelling after his servant after all these years. However, the kingdom currently had guests. Usually, the king would refrain from yelling like a bratty child when trying to impress visitors, but at the moment manners were the farthest thing from his mind. In his defence, he was not yelling like a bratty child. He was yelling like a parched man after water.

Forgive me for the romance, but he had never felt this way before. He was desperate. His servant was always hard to find when he didn’t want to be found. Arthur figured he was out doing magic whenever he was at the ‘tavern’ and had stopped asking so many questions. Merlin deserved time to himself, for his world did not revolve around Arthur. Except, it did. Merlin could go to the ends of the Earth and his thoughts wouldn’t stray far from the king.

Arthur did not know this, but he was thinking about it. If Merlin felt a fraction of what he did- it changed everything. The king was not strong enough to throw that away for his kingdom. It wasn’t as if Camelot would collapse without his marriage to the princess. Though, if one wanted food for thought, even if Camelot would collapse… Arthur was a buzzing mess.

He had never had anything for himself. Not like this. If Merlin wanted him- Arthur was flushed head to toe.

“Merlin! God, where is that idiot?” Arthur really should have asked Gaius where Merlin was before he stormed out.

He stopped in the middle of the corridor as if hitting a wall. Maybe it was a good thing that Merlin wasn’t around. He had time to think, about what he wanted to say, about what he wanted period. If he went to Merlin like this, he might not even get any words out.

He put his hands to his face and rubbed at his too warm cheeks.

……..

“Arthur!” Merlin ran into his chambers. That was the beauty of their relationship, if you waited long enough, one would go running for the other. Arthur was serenely staring out the window, a small smile on his face. Merlin was red, from running or from thinking too hard- one couldn’t guess.

The king turned at the exclamation, his smile static on his lips. Merlin was breathing hard, his face twisting in confusion. Arthur was looking into his eyes. The longer the two spent staring, though only a few moments for sure, the more Merlin’s brain short-circuited.

The kiss was still on his mind, and looking at him now, it was hard not to glance down at the king’s lips. His own felt far too self-aware. He licked at them. Arthur unabashedly looked down at them, and took his sweet time looking back up. This was within five seconds, tops, before Merlin was yelling again.

“You called off the engagement!” While Merlin was borderline hysterical, King Arthur was quite suave at the moment. Cool, collected, he smirked; that is to say, mischief coloured his eyes.

“Quite observant, Merlin. You should be a detective.” I don’t give a shit if detectives weren’t a thing back then.

“Arthur.” He swallowed, blinking fast. God only knows what he was thinking of then, but perhaps the Triple Goddess would tell you he wasn’t thinking of anything. Sometimes kids, when life gets difficult, it’s easier to disassociate so hard that you hardly exist.

He bit his lip then, which was just bold at this point. Arthur looked at his mouth again, the smile slipping off and a frustrated frown taking its place.

“Merlin, if you’re trying to make it difficult to focus, it’s working. Stop biting your lip.” He slapped his upper arm. Of course, when the sexual tension gets tough, engage in horseplay.

“It was unanimously decided that it would be best for Camelot if we courted.”

“What?!” Merlin ungracefully sputtered his words, spit flying onto Arthur’s face. The king looked to the ceiling, wiped his face with one palm, and glared at him.

“Catch up, Merlin, would you. I know you aren’t verbose by nature, but somewhere in that empty head of yours there should be words.”

Merlin scratched the back of his neck, looking away. His face was already red, but if it weren’t, one would have seen a blush crawl onto his face as the situation dawned on him.

“Arthur, you, we- we can’t court!”

Arthur harrumphed. “And why not?”

Merlin threw his hands up in the air, “because-! Because I’m a servant.”

Arthur smirked harder; his face scrunched into a grinch like snarl. Coming up with excuses, was he?

“Doesn’t matter.” The king crossed his arms, watching Merlin look everywhere but at him as if physically searching for an answer. Merlin was panicking; he covered his mouth with one hand and blew into it. This wasn’t the ideal time and place to tell him about his magic. He hadn’t even wrapped his mind around Arthur- courting?!

“I- but I’m a man.”

“I don’t care.” Arthur really enjoyed seeing Merlin struggle.

“We won’t be able to have children, you need heirs.” This was a good, logical reason that Merlin could hide behind.

“We can adopt some.” Arthur was unfazed. Children would be what, at least five years down the line?

“Arthur,” Merlin huffed, exasperated. He grabbed the king’s shoulders.

“I’m a warlock. I have magic.”

“Nobody’s perfect.”

“WHAT?!” Merlin pushed his away, pulling his arms close to his chest. “What?! You knew?”

Arthur laughed, throwing his head back and everything. Merlin did NOT watch the length of his neck as he did so, mesmerized.

“Merlin, I don’t know everything.” His eyes were shining, and he was really, really happy. Merlin had not admitted to anything, but it was pretty clear that _courting_ Arthur wasn’t what he had a problem with.

The king took a step closer, grasping the boy’s hands in his own. Merlin was still, shocked, jaw dropped, staring at him.

“But I know you. Any other objections?” His head tilted to the side as he asked, his eyebrows raised defiantly.

“You’re a prat, you-” Whatever words Merlin was going to say were muffled by Arthur’s face smashing into his. It was a real shame, too. He had a few things he had the mind to say, but then his hands were in Arthur’s obnoxiously shiny hair, and Arthur’s arms were on his waist, and he had forgotten.

……..

Gideon had a large sack of coins.

“Lance gets 10, Gwaine gets 20. Morgana you get your 40, and Gaius… 200.” The group burst into commotion.

“200! Gaius- what-” Leon was gawking at the older man, as he calmly sipped his tea. Gaius had a strip of cloth holding his hair back from his face and had some cream slathered onto his face. Morgana and Merlin were matching him, having decided to have a ‘sorcerers’ night’ together. There were interrupted by the rest of Camelot’s inner circle barging in to deal with this betting pool once and for all.

“He hit the nail on the head… and he bet so much money too…” Gideon grumbled. He would’ve made money on this venture if Gaius had just bet more reasonably. He put 50 on after Merlin’s magic reveal and 50 on after Arthur’s coronation.

Gaius smirked at the knight, unbothered. Leon couldn’t help but stare at the clumpy, sticky stuff on the man’s face.

“You have a little…” He pointed to his own cheek.

Gaius raised an eyebrow, “It’s a face mask. Oats and honey.”

Leon grimaced. There was something unappetizing about the image.

Merlin laughed and offered his teacup back to Morgana, who dutifully poured more of the spiked fruity drink she made. He then offered the full cup to Leon, who took a cautious sip.

“Leon, want to try one? It makes your skin soft.” The older knight looked around alarmed.

“It looks like there’s vomit on your face.” That would be Elyan, who was still disgruntled that he had lost his money.

“That’s just his face.” And here was his dear boyfriend, who was endlessly romantic and not at all an ass.

The king stuck his tongue out at Merlin, as he playfully glared at him, mouthing threats of castrations. A lovely couple.

“Ugh, I should’ve bet more.” Gwaine was the one groaning, despite his winnings. Percival passed him a teacup of punch.

“Thanks, babe.” Percival looked at Gwaine, puzzled, mouthing _babe_ silently. Gideon ignored them.

“I didn’t make any money!” He huffed. Gwen ruffled the boy’s hair.

“The point isn’t to make money, it’s to have fun!” Gwaine and Elyan groaned in unison.

Gwen glared at them. “That’s the thanks I get for bringing honey cakes?”

Morgana came up from behind the maiden and wrapped her arms around her, some of Gwen’s hair sticking to the concoction on her face. Lancelot's eyes widened, and he chugged his teacup.

“I’ll give you a proper thank you.”

“Morgana, dear, you’re inebriated.” Meanwhile, Arthur had made his way to sit beside his boyfriend. He leaned in, and instead of aiming for his mouth, licked his cheek. His face twisted thoughtfully, an appreciative sound thrumming in his throat.

“It actually tastes good.” Leon had to look away, his hand at his throat.

……..

Gideon was watching, along with Gwaine and Lancelot from the gazebo in the gardens. They were munching on tea cakes.

“Are you sure-”

“Shh!” Gideon shushed Gwaine, as he saw Arthur walking through the gardens with Merlin. Gideon had informed the two of them of the plans he had heard from the two of them.

To his understanding, this was their anniversary of meeting. It had been a few months now since the two began courting, and Camelot was well. Magic had finally been repealed, and it was quite anticlimactic. Gwen was made a knight, Morgana the court’s official magic users’ advisor on rights and legislation. Merlin was court sorcerer on all threats and a dragonlord with a few dragons to boot. He was also Arthur’s boyfriend, which was a full-time job.

It was a timid, but warm fall evening and the trees by which the couple were walking were red and orange and scattering leaves everywhere.

“Merlin, I-”

“Arthur.” Merlin took one of Arthur’s hands to hold between his two clasped together. Gideon crossed his fingers.

Merlin knelt down; Arthur’s fingers still just barely curled over his own hand. Arthur’s eyebrows furrowed, a small suspicious frown on his face.

“I- I don’t know what to tell you. I love you. Will you marry me?” Arthur’s face passed through a serious of emotions, some of which could be recognized.

“Will _you_ marry me?!” He yelled at Merlin, far more upset than he should be.

Merlin was beyond confused. “Yes?? That’s why I’m asking.” Why was he so upset?

Gideon was snickering with the two knights. Well, Lance wasn’t laughing. He was respectfully watching the two in their private moment and stuffing more tea cakes into his mouth.

Gideon had expected something great was going to happen when they had both told him separately that they were planning on proposing on the same day. Looks like Merlin beat him to it.

Arthur took a ring out of pocket, exasperated as he realized he had been too slow. He all but threw his mother’s ring at him.

“I can’t believe you beat me to it. Did Gideon tell you?!”

“Did Gideon tell me what- oh, no did you plan to ask me-”

“God, Merlin, of course, you’d ruin the one romantic gesture I had planned-”

“Hey- wait are we engaged now or-”

“Shut up, Merlin!” They threw their arms around each other and kissed until the sun left the sky.

It was an awkward trip for the three of them back to the castle.

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 30k! I owe Shrek, Some Like It Hot, maryluis_art on instagram, and various instagram textposts for inspiring me. The only character I own is Gideon, but feel free to borrow him from me. He deserves to travel the world. I love each of you and I hyperanalyze every comment and I cherish every kudo. I have to clean it up now :/ this is it for now. wow, miss quarantine did that.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what y'all think because I don't be thinking.


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